The Smithee Awards

News and Events!

Coming Soon!

Smithee 21 has emerged from its cocoon, taken its first sip of tequila, and is ready to spread its butterfly wings, causing devastation half-way around the world.

Because Origins (traditionally the final show of the Smithee season) is so early this year, the Smithee season is shorter than ever, so it is imperative to ~~set phasers on stun~~ clear the space on your calendar now!

Fit The Third: Penguicon. Penguicon this year is conveniently located in scenic Dearborn, Michigan between April 27 and April 29. Smithee Showing is Saturday, April 28th @ 6pm. In the Rolls Royce Theater (swank!)

Fit The Fourth: Origins Game Fair, conveniently located in scenic Columbus, Ohio between May 30 and June 3. Smithee nights are: MegaMeta4 on Friday (June 1) in the Terrace Ballroom and Smithee 21 on Saturday (June 2) in Ballroom D.

Remembrances of Shows Past

I remember sitting in my garden in Paris, taking a bite of a haggis-flavored madeleine, and reflecting on Massachusetts in late March. I attended a wonderful event there, and ... (the screen goes all wavy due to flashbacks) ...

Suddenly I was snapped back to the present by a sense memory from the future of the past which it is! Those haggis-flavored madeleines taste terrible.

And yet, presently, there must again come to us a census, a sense that our senses might censor (or even censure) their sensory input, in order to deprive us of the depraved perversity (if not outright perverseness) inherent within ourselves, without ourselves, and without the sense of self-preservation that God in his infinite wisdom has given to even the smallest mollusk and marshallow peeper.

The girl next door, when we were children together, would bring me marshallow animals crafted by her mother, chickens and bunnies and ducks of a springtime, cats and pumpkins and turkeys in the fall. Even as I look across my garden, I see her leaving to deliver a plate of these delicacies, confectionaries from the same recipe as her mother's, hips swaying as she walks seductively toward her pink Vespa, yet still with the blush of youth to her cheeks, as she gestures to the callow youths hanging from their windows and calling down suggestions which are lively -- if anatomically unlikely.

I raised a glass of Russian rye-bread-with-raisins soda to my lips, and my mind soared backwards into the past, as I thought of the last time that I tasted marshallow creatures on a crispy bed of rice and bound with the most leathery of fruits ... (and again the screen goes wavy to signal the flashback) ...

A sound rouses me from my reverie. It is a gagging, retching noise. It is my own gagging, retching noise. Russian rye bread with raisins must never be carbonated again, as it is a sin against God and man and the demiurges which shepherd us from place to place like the baleful sheep of legend, the demon sheep of yore.

MegaMeta Madness Already!

Greetings, Smitheeites. Five years have come and gone since MegaMeta 3 which means we have five more winners that need to be pitted head to head to head to head to head. Thus, MegaMeta 4 which is now upon us. Ann Arbor had their say in October but you Origins Smitheeites will have the last voting opportunity Friday, June 1st (Terrace Ballroom). A Heads up to you Origins Smitheeites: We're planning to run both MegaMeta4 and Smithee 21 this year so plan your Friday and Saturday accordingly.

If you are having trouble remembering what won all those years ago, we'll be running a series of MegaMeta4 recaps over at the Smithee blog.

-YFNPN

Steins and T-Shirts and Mugs -- Oh, My!

And tote-bags, too! At long last, we have a version of the long-awaited T-Shirt storefront! A selection of Smithee Awards merchandise is ready for your perusing and purchasing pleasure right here at CafePress. Choose from a variety of items--such as T's, sweats, mugs, tank-tops, jerseys, track suits, and more--in a variety of styles, all emblazoned with a new, snazzy, and stylized logo cooked up by our own Matthew Quirk. Now you, too, can wear the same shirts as the Smith-ka-teers (well, perhaps not the same ones, although some of us might let you) and join us as we yell, "I Stayed Up To Watch The End of THIS?"