| 2009 | ||
| Most Ludicrous Premise | ||
|---|---|---|
| Atomic Rulers of the World (1964) | The radiation from Earth's unchecked nuclear testing is slowly rendering other planets across the galaxy uninhabitable! And the Stupid-Looking Galactic Council sends Starman! | |
| Alien Dead (1980) | Eddie Rickenbacker, germ warfare, and giant possums. | |
| Sunstorm (2001) | In 1972, Richard Nixon had $2 billion printed and hidden in bunkers around the country to be used in the event of nuclear war.... | |
| Gunhed (1989) | In the future, we will discover a mineral called Texmexium that lets computers take over the world. | |
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Piñata: Survival Island (2002) | Kyle explains The Legend of the Piñata. |
| Oblivious | ||
| G.I. BRO (1978) | Sneaks past guy reading. | |
| Wizards of the Demon Sword (1991) | Thane in shadows as Lord Khoura stalks past. | |
| City Ninja (1985) | She takes his hand and rubs it on her abdomen, and asks, "Do you know how long it is before you can feel the baby's heartbeat?" Then she tells him she's pregnant. He does a wild take and goes "WHAT?!" | |
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Atomic Rulers of the World (1964) | Kid runs from train platform up to bare hilltop, hides in lidless barrel. |
| Black Cobra 3: the Manila Connection (1990) | He takes so long to cut through the fence, they have to timelapse it. | |
| "Wanna Run That By Me Again?" | ||
| The Alpha Incident (1978) | Extra! Read all about it! Low-Flying Pigeon Swoops Down and Shits All Over Railroad Cargo! |
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| Troll 2 (1990) | The anti-meat sermon. | |
| Bloodstone (1988) | "Are you married or just in love?" "We're in textiles." The conversation goes downhill from there. |
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13 Seconds (2003) | A little duct-tape interrogation of the possessed guy. |
| Black Rainbow (1989) | the reporter says he doesn't believe in "all that supernatural crap"; she's probably just telepathic and is reading the crowds minds to know what to say. Because that's WAY more believable than contacting dead people. | |
| "Let's Up The Rating To 'R'" | ||
| City Ninja (1985) | They do it on every piece of gym equipment there is. Especially the rowing machine. | |
| G.I. BRO (1978) | Bathing chicks (with guns). | |
| Force: Five (1981) | Our hero heroically sneaks past... a tent full of naked women. Whew! Good thing THEY didn't catch him! | |
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Evil Come Evil Go (1972) | "Let's look at you, Penny." |
| Alien Dead (1980) | Deputy sleazeball takes time out from chasing the monsters to spy on a skinny-dipper. | |
| "Alas, Poor Yorick" | ||
| Dixie Dynamite (1976) | Frank dies on the toilet. | |
| Grave of the Vampire (1974) | Nosy detective starts poking around the graveyard. The vampire suddenly runs in from offscreen! He chokes him, punches him, slams the lid down on the cop's head, then sucks on him. | |
| 13 Seconds (2003) | After concluding that drugs may not be so good for you, a demon grabs his crotch from under the bed, folds him in half and drags him under. | |
| Python (2000) | "You got me out of bed for a snake?" Then Wheaton is eaten. | |
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Humanoids from the Deep (1996) | Cigarette explosion. |
| Deus Ex Machina | ||
| Alien Hunter (2003) | They rush outside to discover: The aliens have apologetically appeared and make everything okay. | |
| Black Cobra 3: the Manila Connection (1990) | The guards chasing the commando get tired of chasing him. | |
| Bloodmoon (1997) | Time bomb dynamite is just colorful confetti bomb. Roll credits. | |
| Message from Space (1978) | No, I won't do it. Oh, it's the seed. OK, I'll do it. | |
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Troll 2 (1990) | That's a Deus Ex Machina? Oh, baloney! |
| Stupidest-Looking Monster | ||
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The Killer Shrews (1959) | Shrew kills Bradford. |
| The Beast of the Yellow Night (1971) | Langdon turns into some kind of WEREWOLF and eats the guy's entrails. WTF? | |
| Alien Dead (1980) | The swamp alien. | |
| Zeram (1991) | Zeram mark 3, again. | |
| Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) | Brenda ("Mrs West") fights the Doctor. | |
| Worst Science | ||
| Voodoo Academy (2000) | Electro-magnetic energy aligns your life energy, thus healing your soul. | |
| Devil Girl From Mars (1954) | Nuclear fission on a negative condensity, and also perpetual motion. | |
| Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) | The Doctor is reverting crocs back up the evolutionary path to fish.... | |
| Grave of the Vampire (1974) | Doc: "What's inside your womb is dead. It isn't a human being. It'll drag you down and it'll kill you." Leslie: "I'm keeping my parasite--er, baby!" |
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Unknown World (1951) | The earth is hollow and cooler on the inside and they'll get there in a mumblemumble. |
| Best One-Liner | ||
| Trancers 6 (2002) | "Did you know that being an asshole is the leading cause of death in men and women?" | |
| Python (2000) | "Do you expect me to believe this horse shit?" "It would be highly expedient if you would believe this horse shit." |
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| Bloodstone (1988) | "What's in a name? - William Shakespeare" "Fuck you - David Mamet" |
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| Unknown World (1951) | "He [your father] is the villain of the piece and you're the hero." "Quite the contrary!" |
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Wizards of the Demon Sword (1991) | "Foolproof plans are hard to come by, son!" |
| Worst Cover Copy | ||
| American Kickboxer 1 (1991) | Featuring Chuck Norris' former workout partner! | |
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Western Palace (1979) | Power-hungry eunuch Wang, Bureau of Informatio. |
| G.I. BRO (1978) | Cover is goofy (excessively cheesy). | |
| Evil Remains (2004) | Front cover actors not in movie. | |
| Eat My Dust! (1976) | Only 25 words on the back cover descred this movie, the rest were about Roger Corman.... | |
| "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw" | ||
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Bloodmoon (1997) | Kill swordmaster, slice him up, kick him through wall, smash him into vase, onto desk, and then jump on him. Then blow up the building, just to be sure. |
| Black Rainbow (1989) | The killer is escaping from the hotel. He rounds a corner, and unexpectedly discovers about half a dozen plainclothes cops. With guns. Oh well. | |
| Black Fist (1975) | "Boom-Boom" gets smacked down seventeen different ways. | |
| Message from Space (1978) | Death of Rockseia (stabbed, out window, falls, explodes). | |
| Force: Five (1981) | The bad guy lets an angry bull loose into a maze with our hero. There's a lot of running in circles, until.... | |
| Inane Dialogue | ||
| Alien Hunter (2003) | "It's Jack. He's dead."
You mean that charred hunk of ex-flesh? No shit. |
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| Black Cobra 3: the Manila Connection (1990) | "They must be down here!" Yup. They are. | |
| Alien Dead (1980) | "He seems upset." No shit. | |
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13 Seconds (2003) | "Have I ever told you about this reoccurring [sic] dream I have?" "You've had this more than once?" |
| Zeram (1991) | "I checked and double-checked my figures ... nothing can go wrong." | |
| "Whoops!" | ||
| Western Palace (1979) | "Thank you" chick dubbing cue missed. | |
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Terror Squad (1987) | US/Canadian border at Dunes Beach, IN. |
| Grave of the Vampire (1974) | He says "You have lovely hair." She says, "Yes, I was a photographer's model." But neither move their lips. | |
| Sword of the Valiant (1984) | Horse switchyroo. | |
| Deathstalker (1983) | The tattoo moves from one side of bad guy's head to the other. | |
| "WHAT?!" | ||
| City Ninja (1985) | He uses his girlfriend as an unwilling weapon! | |
| Atomic Rulers of the World (1964) | "Carry out the execution! Well? Go ahead!" Who built this place?? | |
| Troll 2 (1990) | Corn seduction. | |
| Return of Red Tiger (1980) | Bruce Le demonstrates Pissed-Off-Kitten Fu. | |
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The Monster of Camp Sunshine (1964) | Stock footage! |
| Acting Appropriately Stupid | ||
| Python (2000) | "You have my permission to open it," where it is a Top Secret crate with thrashing/pounding noises coming from inside. | |
| Grave of the Vampire (1974) | The pretty doctoral student begs the evil vampire to turn her into one. With predictable results. | |
| The Alpha Incident (1978) | Jack breaks quarantine for no good reason, then tells the gun-toting guy that he "ain't got the guts" to shoot him. | |
| Alien Hunter (2003) | Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's poke the goo in the alien pod! | |
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Troll 2 (1990) | "Shoo" away the goblins menacing your new lady friend. |
| Worst Special Effect | ||
| Spirits of Bruce Lee (1973) | You Don't Interrupt a Soliloquy, Dummy! | |
| Voodoo Academy (2000) | "Fireflies" lead to dummy head. It's magic! | |
| Sword of the Valiant (1984) | Animatronic Sean Connery head. | |
| Atomic Rulers of the World (1964) | Starman flying after a toy helicopter. | |
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Trancers 6 (2002) | A trancer goes out the window. This is the worst falling effect since Witchboard. |
| Crummiest Ending | ||
| Troll 2 (1990) | "YUMMY! MOM IS SO GOOD" -- so they eat her. | |
| The Alpha Incident (1978) | "I haven't been infected! I'm alive!" Bang! Ticktickticktickticktickticktick.... |
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| Black Fist (1975) | Fisk kills Ingo. Then goes batfuck nuts and smashes a mirror. | |
| 13 Seconds (2003) | I guess the whole movie was the Devil's trick in the last 13 seconds of Davis' life. And now he's going to Hell. | |
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Grave of the Vampire (1974) | The hero fights and kills the vampire. He stares stupidly at the camera as we see: THE END OR IS IT? |
| Worst Acting | ||
| Alien Dead (1980) | Buster Crabbe as Sheriff Kowalski. | |
| The Nightmare Never Ends (1980) | "Someone is twying to weach me!" (Faith Clift as Dr Hansen) | |
| Evil Come Evil Go (1972) | Acting again, Sarah Jane & Penny are both terrible! | |
| Sunstorm (2001) | Packard Walsh is a bottom-feeding maggot, and Bo Derek is going to kick the crap out of him for bringing down the movie with his Scarlet O'Hara accent. | |
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13 Seconds (2003) | It seems half the cast is on drugs (especially Sarah Corbin as Talia). And the cryptic statements fly. |
| Worst Picture | ||
| Atomic Rulers of the World (1964) | Good Wet Buffalo shot of Starman. From the "Dialogue Not in Film But Should Have Been" Dept.: "Mommy! I just saw a man on the wing!" "Are you sure it was a man?" "Oh yes. Very sure." | |
| 13 Seconds (2003) | There is a folding chair involved. | |
| The Nightmare Never Ends (1980) | She runs over the Devil, cuts out his heart, and stuffs it in the microwave. Unfortunately, he wins anyway. | |
| Alien Dead (1980) | A young couple is driving down the road, and their car breaks down. They're listening to a bluegrass station. Then zombies attack! | |
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Troll 2 (1990) | Joshua comes up with a way to keep his family from eating Nilbog food. |
© 1992-2010 Bryan Cassidy