WEBVTT 

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[Welcome to SPAAAACE in the year 40, 000!]

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[Or "The 41st Century, " as some scripts/reviews state.]

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[Not really the same, you know.]

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[Literally starting an ACTUAL STRIP-TEASE.]

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[Sappy '60s theme music beat begins in earnest...]

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[Did they have Casios back then?]

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[Oh--here come the woodwinds.  With the accent on "wood."]

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[Nice flash of thigh.]

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[We have leggage!]

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[Oh, here comes the brass.  With the accent on "ass."]

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[Whoa! She can teleport!]

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[Are there any words to this song?]

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[Crescendo!  Here come the words!]

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[Oh...Guess not.]

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[Got some guitar in there now.]

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[Hey! I had a pen like this once!  But a lot faster.]

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- <i>It's a wonder...</i>
- [Hey, the song DOES have words!]

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<i>Wonder Woman...</i>

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<i>You're so wild...</i>

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- <i>and wonderfuuuuullll.</i>
- [They say Fonda was so nervous about this scene...]S

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- <i>'Cause it seems</i>
- [...that she shot it completely drunk.]

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<i>whenever, oh, </i>

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- <i>we're together</i>
- [This look totally proves it.]

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<i>the planets all stand still.</i>

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[Just assume the backup singers go
"Bah-bah-bup-bah-baaaaaahhhh!" throughout.]

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[The Bob Crewe Generation] <i>Barbarella, Psychadella, </i>

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<i>there's a kind of cockle shell a-</i>

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<i>bout yooooouuuuu...</i>

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<i>(Barbarella, Barb-barb-arellaaaaa)</i>

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<i>Mmm, dazzle me with rainbow color, </i>

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<i>fade away the duller shade of livinnnnng.</i>

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- <i>Get me up hiiiiigh!</i>
- <i>(Hiiiiigh!)</i>

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- <i>Teach me to flyyyyy!</i>
- <i>(Flyyyyy!)</i>

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- <i>Electrifyyyyyy!</i>
- <i>(Electrifyyyyyyy!)</i>

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<i>Tonight, with starry lights above the stratospheeeeere</i>

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<i>bring your dearness neeeeeearrr</i>

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- <i>'til the dawn comes tumblin' down</i>
- [Okay, she's almost naked...]

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<i>(Don't make a sound--shhhhh!)</i>

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<i>Every word we need</i>

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- <i>comes from the skyyyyy!</i>
- [Oh, yeah, she's wasted.]

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<i>Can't you read my eeeeeeyyyes</i>

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- <i>sayin' "love?"</i>
- [She's nude! Damn letters in the way!]

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<i>Whoa, you</i>

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- <i>give me a cold shoulder.</i>
- ["Dildano??"]

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- <i>Still, I'm dyin', girl, to hold ya</i>
- [WE HAVE BREASTAGE!]

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<i>and make loooooooooooooo</i>

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<i>ooooooooooooooooove!</i>

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<i>Looo-ooo-oooooooove!</i>

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[Opening credits, folks.]

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<i>Oh, Barbarella, Psychadela, </i>

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- <i>never can a fella name or call yoooooouuu</i>
 - [What's with these words?!]

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<i>Barbarella, Barb-barberella!</i>

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- <i>Barbarella, Barb-barbarella...</i>
- [They make no sense!]

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- <i>Barbarella! Barb-barbarella!</i>
- [I saw you noticing the feet.  Pervert.]

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<i>Barbarellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!</i>

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<i>Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-babarellaaaaaaa!</i>

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<i>Barbarella!</i>

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[With these credits, imagine
the rest of the film.]

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[Computer Voice] <i>Stand by...</i>