WEBVTT 

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[The trio of vampiresses have our hero right...where...]

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[...they want each other?]

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[But enough of that...let's look at this lovely painting!]

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[So...painting.]

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[Oh, right!  Vampire orgy.  Almost forgot.]

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[I'm not sure he's really tied up there...]

00:00:53.360 --> 00:00:56.360
[So, it kinda just goes on like this...?]

00:01:10.360 --> 00:01:14.160
[So, you remember Ed Wood's <i>Orgy of the Dead</i>?]

00:01:14.520 --> 00:01:20.240
[And how we complained that Wood managed
to make even pretty naked women weird and boring?]

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[Ah!  More erotic art!
Very important to the, uh...atmosphere?]

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[Yay! Finally!]

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[I would have expected more...I dunno, biting.]

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[Ooooo. Tastefully artistic.]

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[Back to the frescoes...]

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[Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking...]

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[STOP WITH THE ARTWORK ALREADY!]

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[Oo, nice.]

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[Anyway, where was I?]

00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:08.120
[Oh, right:  I know what you're thinking--]

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[ARGH!]

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[So, you're probably thinking:
"Why the hell did he cut this so long?!"]

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[But oh, no, my friends...]

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[(Boobs)]

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[ART!]

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[This is actually--]

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[WOULD YOU STOP?!]

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[As I was saying, this is--]

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[This--]

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[This ENTIRE CLIP is HALF of the
<i>seven-minute</i> scene in the actual movie!]

00:03:41.440 --> 00:03:44.600
[There. Finally got it out.]

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[I think we now know why this entire movie was made.]

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[What's with the frescoes??]

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[My guess is that even Cirio H. Santiago
knew how boring this scene is.]

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[So he threw in the frescoes to break up the monogamy.]

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[Uh, monotony.]

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[Obligatory slo-mo spinning...]

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[Okay, that's enough.]