WEBVTT 

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<i>That</i> was weird.

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[Huh. I think I had this guy...]

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[Professor] Okay, everyone. Quiet, please.

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Today is the day we start delving
into Bram Stoker's <i>Dracula</i>.

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[Professor] Now I'm sure most of you
have heard of <i>Dracula</i>,

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but that few have taken the time to read it.

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There's more to this novel
than...bloodthirst and...horror.

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[Professor] Bram Stoker addresses

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many issues...of the Victorian period:

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Sex, modernism, and Christianity.

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Now to make what for some of you

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- may be a dry novel more interesting and interactive, 
- [This guy couldn't make <i>sex</i> interesting and interactive.]

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we're going to do something a little unconventional this semester.

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As your last project of class,

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you're going to perform this.

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[Whole class groans]

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Yes, class...

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You're going to have to act...

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- ["Unlike me!"]
- and wear costumes.

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Get over yourselves.

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And try to enjoy this.

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[Too late!]

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This will help you understand
the importance of this work much better.

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Now we're going to have to assign parts.

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Are there any volunteers for the part of Dracula?

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["How about the pale-skinned, sullen young man with the fangs?"]

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Okay then, I'm going to start
randomly selecting names from the roll list.

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Aurelius...

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["The pale-skinned, sullen young man with no last name..."]

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[Professor] You get the...honor of being...Count Dracula.

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[Professor] Now for Jonathan Harker...

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Eh, let's go with Noah for this part.

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And for, uh...

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Harker's financee Mina...

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[Professor] Uhhhm...

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How 'bout Chloe?

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[Professor] Excellent!

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[I don't think this was "random."]

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Now for the part of Lucy, let's--

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Seriously? This part's gonna be completely tiresome.

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How the hell am I gonna have the time and
brain power to remember for all these lines?