Curse of the Living Dead  (1974)
[+]
(Foreign Titles)
Nomination Year: 2014
SYNOPSIS: This movie was a mash of boiled plantains, and not the banana split that I was expecting.

It begins with a narrator (who we will never hear from again) introducing the Main Characters. They're bad guys (I use the term generically; one is female), wreckers. They light fires to guide ships onto the rocks, then loot the wreckage.

A ship wrecks! They loot the wreckage! Two girls(*) are washed ashore in dirty white nightgowns. The wreckers beat them, possibly killing them. In town, the wreckers hang out at a bar/whorehouse, when suddenly The Captain starts to get ghostly visions of the two dead (?) girls(*). The mistress of the bar has a Premonition. The girls(*) are not dead!

The wreckers run off, and go to hunt through the wrecks for the girls(*). The wreckers find them, and burn down the wreck where they're hiding (never mind that it's been burnt before, and is underwater at high tide).

The girls(*) escape to an island that's only accessible at low tide. They encounter a strange monster (a woman in clown makeup), and a mysterious man (a bearded beatnik jailkeeper). They're told of a mysterious power that controls the island, and that during the night, it will call to them.

Back at the bar/whorehouse, the psychic mistress has a premonition. At night. The evil. It will call to the girls(*). Who still aren't dead.

The male wreckers continue to freak out about this. The female wrecker is all "You big babies! They're just girls!"(*) Then she takes her shirt off.

At night, the mysterious power calls to the girls(*). They take off their clothes, and break him/it out of prison. He (The Devil?) is a strangely handsome man, who grants them his power until dawn.

The girls(*) immediately head off on The Worst Rampage Ever. Seriously.

At the end of their Rampage, they have inconvenienced one wrecker, and frightened a second. Meanwhile, one of their allies has been killed, and two others are beaten nearly to death.

They let The Devil take his power back, then the wreckers capture them, and tie them to a wreck. The one that they burned down before, but that's not important right now.

The wreckers start to physically abuse the girls(*). The soundtrack suddenly becomes filled with animal noises. The Captain of the wreckers kills his compatriots for no reason. Some monks appear. The tide comes in. The movie ends.

The film was an impressionistic swirl of random violence, random female nudity, and a kick-ass piano score.

(*) Yes, I called them girls throughout the review, but they were clearly in their twenties.
Kevin Hogan
Smithee Award Nominations
"WHAT?!"
Stop clowning around!
The young girls have escaped to the mysterious island. They're being tended by a female clown, who begs their case to a bearded Rasputin-type figure.
Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!
Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Jean Rollin Sometimes credited as J.A. Laser 
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
Paul Bisciglia <Not Yet in Database> went on to do voice work for several Asterix movies 
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