R.O.T.O.R. (1989)

Nomination Year: 2010
SYNOPSIS:  Our hero, Coldyron (he may have a first name, but nobody ever uses it) is sort of a cross between Tony Stark and '80s TV detective Matt Houston (anybody but me remember him?). He's a brilliant scientist from Texas who wears cowboy boots, lives on a ranch, and apparently beat up Marjoe Gortner and took his hair. He's also the captain in charge of the Dallas Police Department's police robotics unit. Their main focus is the Robotic Officer Tactical Operations Research (R.O.T.O.R.) program, a forward looking project to create a robotic police officer for use 25 years in the future when crime is out of control and human officers won't be able to fight it. However, the Chief wants results now (he's getting pressure from the Mayor and, in a world where the Dallas PD has enough money for its own robotics unit, you really don't want to piss off the Mayor), so he fires Coldyron and promotes his assistant with instructions to get the R.O.T.O.R. project operational now.

Of course, this immediately results in the R.O.T.O.R. (why does the robot itself have "Research" in its acronym? Wouldn't T.O.R.O. make more sense?) coming to life, stealing a motorcycle, and going on duty. Its first act is to pull an abusive jerk over for speeding, find him guilty, and shoot him. The R.O.T.O.R. also tries to shoot his girlfriend (an accessory to speeding, I guess), but she manages to escape (see DEM clip). She takes off and leads the R.O.T.O.R. on a chase along the back roads of Texas, occasionally stopping to take refuge somewhere when the R.O.T.O.R. hasn't massacred a bunch of innocent bystanders in a while. Meanwhile, Coldyron figures out what's going on and flies in Dr. Steele, a brilliant (compared to him) and beautiful (compared to Sue Price) scientist from Houston to help him come up with a plan for taking down the R.O.T.O.R. This finally results in the shortest and lamest killer robot take-down scene in movie history.

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

Yoda, She Is Not
"You have to use your own failure against him."
"Too bad I don't understand what any of that means."
Us, either.

Deus Ex Machina

Honk If You Love R.O.T.O.R.
Much like Syngenors are to water, R.O.T.O.R is vulnerable to loud noise. Because that won't hinder a traffic cop at all.

Worst Science

Surfer Dude Robot Is Full Of Heavy Metals
R.O.T.O.R.'s molecular tonality has good vibrations. Dude. So vague that it's more babble than techno. "If you come next year, you'll see twenty-five years from now."

"WHAT?!"

I Call Shenanigans
The heroine comes to a crossroads. How can R.O.T.O.R figure out which way she went? By using his advanced optical sensors to see into the past, of course! Um, no.

Crummiest Ending

He Went To Live On A Farm
Coldyron (the hero) tells everyone how great retirement will be, then gets shot by his boss, followed by a voice-over sermon from his nephew about the true meaning of law enforcement.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Margaret Trigg  
Director Claim to Fame
Cullen Blaine also wrote the story for R.O.T.O.R. 

Greg Pearson

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.