Bloody Wednesday (1987)
The Great American Massacre

Nomination Year: 2011
SYNOPSIS:  Did you ever see Throw Momma From the Train? Remember Owen's (Danny DeVito's character) proposed writing-class story about The Guy in the Hat who kills the Other Guy in the Hat? Billy Crystal (rightly) criticizes Owen's explanation of the first Guy's motive, which was "because he was crazy." This is pretty much the film adaptation of that plot. Over the course of the movie, a mostly-crazy guy (Harry) slowly evolves into a totally-batshit-crazy guy who, for no specific reason I can divine, ends up taking out a coffee shop (well, diner, really) while getting shot himself. The End. (PS. The Tagline: "You'll pray for Thursday!")

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Well, the Body IS a Temple...
Ever have that dream where you're naked in church? This guy dreams while he's awake!

Smithee Award Winner!MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"

No Shoes, No Ammo, No Service
Harry has finally snapped. He walks into a diner loaded for bear and just stands there, surveying the normal people at their meals and drinking in the hustle and bustle of the patrons and passing waitresses. He cocks the machine gun. Nothing. As if merely clearing his throat a little louder, he cocks the gun again (don't ask me how -- Whoops!), and finally, the greeter screams and the bullets fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And fly. And... Well, you get the picture. At one point, a cook goes face-down on some grilling eggs.

Acting Appropriately Stupid

"Well, If You're Gonna Burn the Place Down... You're Hired!"
The manager of the body shop that he got canned from before for his crazy behavior listens to Harry's plea, which includes the implication that if he's not rehired, he might burn the place down. "Ah, sure, okay. I hate to see a man beg." Sure enough, he regrets it.

Worst Acting

Pamela Baker (Dr. "Stilted")
Harry has a strange, wooden conversation with the lady doctor (Pamela Baker).

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Pamela Baker two TV movies in 1983, and then this.... 
Director Claim to Fame
Mark G. Gilhuis  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.