Christmas Evil (1980)
Terror in Toyland
You Better Watch Out
Nomination Year: 2011
SYNOPSIS: Another in a series of "already crazy guy gets crazier and goes on a killing spree" films. This one with a Christmas theme. At least this guy has a reason (albeit a really lame one): Harry Stadling saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus as a kid. I mean *really* kissing Santa Claus, and *really really* vice-versa. He grows up to be this Santa-obsessed weirdo with a job in a toy factory. His house is full of Christmas decorations and memorabilia year-round. He keeps Naughty/Nice ledgers of all the neighborhood kids. When he snaps, he paints a sleigh on the side of his white van, steals a bunch of toys from work, and then goes around town giving out gifts to nice people and murdering the naughty ones. Or merely annoying ones. Or whoever's in front of him.
Our Neighborhood Watch Charter Hasn't Changed Since 1750
The media is wise that there's a killer out there dressed as Santa, and lose no time in spreading a panic. A group of people corner Harry and one father is about to beat him up when his little girl goes "No, Daddy! Don't hurt Santa!" and hands Harry Daddy's knife. Good girl. He escapes, but a mob quickly starts after him, INSTANTLY producing actual flaming TORCHES. This is 1980, mind you. Why the hell do normal people have torches on hand? At one point, Harry's van screeches away, past the running mob. I could just imagine someone saying, "Crap! I TOLD you we should have taken the time to get out the pitchforks! We could've popped his damn tires!"
- Crummiest Ending
Now Dashboard Away, Dashboard Away, Dashboard Away, All!
Harry's brother gets so mad at Harry, he literally strangles him. But Harry revives in his van. He punches his bro (funny!), then screeches away, past the torch-wielding angry mob that has been running after his van for the last I-kid-you-not HOUR or so (story time, not screen time). The mob causes him to veer off course, through a fence and over a cliff. But, to his brother's wond'ring eyes, the van FLIES off into the full moon. "Merry Christmas!" The End. Bear in mind there isn't even the slightest hint of the supernatural at any other point in the movie.
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]
© 2011-2015 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.