City Dragon (1995)
Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS: Let me first state: I am so very sorry. Okay, continuing: This is one
(perhaps the ONLY one) of the rare genre of Kung Fu Rap movies. It starts
with an abrupt and incomprehensible carjacking and gets worse from there.
Much worse. Much, much, much, much, much, much worse. Bad camera work.
Beyond-bad acting. The whole thing seems like a veiled promotion for the
lead actor, (I-shit-you-not) M.C. Kung Fu. He plays Ray, a Playah
Extraordinayah (see, I can do it, too!). Ray falls in love with Tina, who's
being abused by Jack. Tina leaves Jack for Ray, and Jack goes batfuck nuts
and kills his coworkers. When he learns Tina is pregnant with Jack's baby,
Ray settles down. It's a plot full of rapping friends, reverse sexual
harassment, and a climactic rooftop showdown with an escaped Jack.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
"Wanna Run That By Me Again?" |
And "Huh" Spelled Backwards Is Still "Huh" "God spelled backwards is dog! And men are fleas on a dog's back." What the Actual F, girl?
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Worst Cover Copy |
Because There Can Be Only ... What Do You Mean That's Taken? Ray is the one man who is the one man when there can only be one man. First
still: Not in the film. Other stills...eh. Everything sufficiently
cheesy.
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"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'" |
"Let's Up the Rating to Are You Kidding Me?!" If you're starting to wonder if every scene in the film is clipworthy, so
was I at this point. Ray hits on a curvaceous woman in a parking lot and
rhymes at her. Then SHE starts doing it. The Corvette seals the deal and
BAM, no transition, the tits are out. I am wondering at this point if
they're planning to do most/all of the movie in rhyme. They then
lack-of-transition into a street rap routine. Why? Don't know.
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Worst Acting |
Millicent Alley as Cheri (on Top) He thought he was going to get back with Cheri now that she's a "big star,"
but she has other plans: Revenge. And horrible, horrible, horrible acting!
Aaaaaagh!
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Worst Picture |
He Thinks He's "Undah Dawg" Ray has a way with the ladies. A moronic way. He rhymes while he's doing
them. Then he leaves a "see ya" note on their pillow and reads it from just
off camera (you can easily tell by the echo). It's like the ghetto version
of Underdog: "Where there be honies I am not slow/It's hip-hop hip and I
nail dat ho'!"
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Directors
Director |
Claim to Fame |
'Philthy' Phil Phillips |
director/screenplay/actor/soundtrack writer and performer/producer on City Dragon, and no other imdb entries |
© 1992-2025 Bryan D. Cassidy and Greg Pearson. All Rights Reserved.