Haunted Boat (2005)
Haunted Boat: Incubo in Alto Mare
Rumbo a la Muerte

Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS:  There's more than one dinghy on this boat. Some really bad-acting 20-somethings go on an excursion in a "fixer-upper" boat one of them got for his birthday. They bring with them five cases of beer, six bottles of liquor, lots of pot, and zero talent. You probably think you can guess the rest. I thought so. If you said "they're picked off one by one," you'd be right. Up until the very end, which invalidates the whole movie. Or confirms it. Or whatever.

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

The Nature of Existence, Stoner Version.
We modify the past. And our realities are something something something. Note that she did not smoke the pot.

Smithee Award Winner! Acting Appropriately Stupid

"We ARE Alone."
A strange man floats up in a small boat, claming to be lost and asking "Are you alone?" As Christina is answering "Yes," Summer wisely contradicts her: "No, there are more of us inside." To which the brunette adds: "But only one girl, and she's sick." Who's the blonde here? While you're reeling at her stupidity, she adds: "You wouldn't happen to be a doctor, would you?" "Yeah, kinda." "Come aboard!" Even her blonde friend doesn't buy it.

Crummiest Ending

Am I Crazy or Is She Crazy?
I keep wanting to say "Here's where it gets weird." The whole movie she was alone on the boat? That's what the end voiceovers and vanishing people in the picture seem to imply... As near as I can figure out, Christina's simply a psychopath who hallucinated up a bunch of vapid and ignorant friends her own age. Then there's this kind of Californian Teenage Flying Dutchman thing... The whole movie is invalidated. I think.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Courtney Scheuerman  
Director Claim to Fame
Olga Levens writer/director/cinematographer/producer/production designer/costumer designer/casting director/art director/set designer for Haunted Boat 

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.