Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras
Rise of the Chupacabras
Tagline(s):
The Legend Is True
Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS: Sllooooowwwww-moving plot, bad
sound, and underexposures plague this suckfest. It's basically an endless
string of: "What was that noise?" Slaver, rinse, repeat. But if you must know: Grandpa was once the
mildly famous "vampire hunter" back in the day, and now similar killings are
beginning again. Despite his age, he must go to the Chupacabra's (aka the
"Mocha Vampire's") lair (aka the Goat Mine) and put an end to the menace
once and for all.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
The Mago (No Relation)
Chupacabras are pets left behind by aliens. Gabrielle "Mago/White Witch"
DeMarco tells us all about chupacabras using her air of superiority and
uneven, vanishing accent.
Worst Special Effect
The Big Reveal!
Not only is The Mago the Chupacabra(s)/Mocha Vampire, but when she hypnotized him
earlier, she somehow (telepathically?) slipped a suggestion into him so that he
can't kill her. But he can kill himself! He grabs her and leaps into the
overly-convenient lava nearby, and we see, uh, a body, I guess, tumble in
(BAD). All her vamped-out minions turn to skeletons (JUST AS BAD). "My
God. I think it's over." Gramps somehow climbs out of the lava pit. THE
END. Thank God, I think it's over.