Storm Trooper (1998)
Nomination Year: 2018
SYNOPSIS: This movie started out ornery; it was encoded as wide screen but it is not, in fact, wide screen. It does, however, refuse to let us have any other options but wide screen. On the plus side, all the military folks look really squat and buff, like dwarves moonlighting as covert operatives in a secret sciency base.
0.02-30 ALAS poor security guards, killed by nude cyborgs.
"Did you get them?"
"They offered maximum resistance sir!"
The military jargon is...odd.
0.04 Whoops - He punched the guy so hard that he disappeared from the next shot.
FATTEST ROTTWEILER EVER!
0.09 MLP - The cyborg is gone
This woman's husband is a real douchecanoe. I hope the cyborg kills him.
0.12-14 Whoops- "He's up there on the left" if by left they mean right. Also, the lyrics of the song on the radio include "I'm singing the blues in my orthopedic shoes". As one does.
Jesus Christ, you could play four different billiards games at once on that table. They shot it with the intent of making it look big and imposing and on forced wide screen it looks like an Olympic swimming pool looking for a change in careers.
0.13-35 BOL - Hold the car still/whatever you say miss Daisy.
Me: how did the semi catch up to the guy on the motorcycle?
Matt: I don't know, shit just happens with vehicles in this movie
0.32 saddest not LUtRtR ever. She shoots jerk husband, drags him into the bath tub and then decides she has to shower off the blood with him still in there. It's super amusing and if we would have had boobies this would have been awesome.
0.37 BOL- She's talking to her dead husband wondering if it's too soon to move on because she's met someone.
Forty one minutes into the movie and Corey Feldman shows up. Hi Corey! One minute into his screen arrival he gets nut punched. I like this movie.
"What's a person supposed to do when their reason for living has been taken from them?"
Matt sez "Well, I guess exposition."
0.44 Whoops - Laser spot shows up on cyborg yet neither of the attacking people had a sight on their gun (they both have shotguns)
0.55 BOL - Why didn't you identify yourself? I was busy.
Aaaand Corey Feldman exits stage floor one hour and seven minutes in. In and out on the double bang.
1.09 MLP - better one. Grace and Denton are talking about the cyborg.
Jeannette Quirk
Corey Feldman
Carol Alt
