Tagline(s):

She's Wild. She's Sexy. She's The Barbarian Queen.

Nomination Year: 2016

SYNOPSIS: This movie is billed as the sequel to Barbarian Queen, and in a way it is. It features the same lead actress (Lana Clarkson) as a queen who is imprisoned by a Usurper and tortured while half-naked. It’s good for a movie to have a sense of its raison d’etre, and in this film there are clearly two.

Unfortunately, it has no sense of its own pacing. It’s not paced like an action movie. It’s not paced like a drama or a comedy either. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be paced like, but as long as you’re willing to wade through some talky bits before Athalia does something or her top comes off, you’ll probably be okay with this film.

The bad guy, Ankaris, is as far over the top as Athalia is popping out of hers, but the actress who plays his daughter Tamis (Cecilia Tijerina) is very good at the creepy child thing. The best scene is when Athalia has been captured and the daughter is getting some pointers from the castle torturer. He rips off Athalia’s top (theme? motif? boob fugue?) while she is stretched on the rack. "What an awesomely disgusting sight," he says to Tamis. "It’s not pain that breaks them. It’s fear."

Eventually Athalia escapes, gets a magic something or other, and leads the revolt of peasants and female warriors blah blah blah you’ve seen them before.

Smithee Award Nominations

Oblivious

Athalia's Escape Athalia's been captured and sentenced to hang. On the way to the gallows, surrounded by mounted and armored guards, she manages to untie a hand in full view of everyone, kick the driver of her cart screaming into the dirt in full view of everyone, jump on the back of a still-clueless guard in full view of everyone and rides off into the sunset, to the cheers of the crowd. What were these guys, un-aggroed NPCs??

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

"Tomorrow Night, They Fight Near a Conveniently-Placed Vat of Gelatin..." The Princess enters the village and is called out by an uppity rival who simply doesn't take a shine to her for no reason. Start the cat fight. Also for no reason, a barrel of water somehow gets tipped into the dirt, creating a strategically-placed mud pit nearby. They are also conveniently wearing rip-away clothing when things get physical... You get the idea.

Worst Acting
"Don't Follow MUEEEH!" The red-robed Ankaris (Alejandro Bracho) rants and practically foams in this oddly Python-esque corridor scene. His bizarre performance is something to see...and perhaps vote for.

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Joe Finley	He did color grading on HBO's "Game of Thrones." Oh, and directed this one movie.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Lana Clarkson	Princess Athalia	Was queen of the Amazon Women on the Moon and starred in Deathstalker in the role Roger Corman claims inspired Xena. Murdered in real life by a man named Phil Spector, whom Al Pacino portrayed in a later film.
Greg Wrangler	Aurion	He's been on a LOT of soap operas.
Rebecca Wood	Zarla	Once played a barmaid in, appropriately enough, The Forgotten One.
Elizabeth A. Jaeger	Noki
Roger Cudney	Hofrax	Played an agent in Total Recall, the ship's captain in License To Kill, and Captain Young in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.
Alejandro Bracho	Ankaris	Recently is Chuck Blazer on "El Presidente" and Mr. X (shouldn't that be "Senor X?") on "Narcos: Mexico." Played Fernandez in Clear and Present Danger.
Cecilia Tijerina	Tamis	Much of the acting she does is in Mexican television, such as a long stint as Mónica Sánchez-Zúñiga Montealegre on "Muchachitas."
Orietta Aguilar	Erigena
Monica Steuer	Ethbeck	Voices the Mommy on "Caillou's New Adventures" (not the original, which was Mrs. Garrett).

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