Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982)
Night Warning

Nomination Year: 2016
SYNOPSIS:  Poor Billy Lynch's parents were killed in a car accident and he has been raised from the age of three by his very overprotective Aunt Cheryl. Billy's into basketball and his girlfriend, Julie. Aunt Cheryl is into keeping Billy with her at all costs, including sabotaging his chances of being discovered by a basketball scout by means of drugging him before the big game. In case it wasn't obvious before, Cheryl is more than a little insane—illustrated by the fact she kills a gay plumber who rejected her clumsy advances. Enter Detective and/or Lieutenant Carlson (he is referred to as both many times), an obnoxious cop and diehard homophobe. Carlson pursues Billy with tenacity, even getting his beloved (but gay) coach fired and hounding Julie for details of Billy's sex life. It all comes to a head when Cheryl reveals that she’s actually Billy’s biological mother. She reveals she killed Billy’s parents and goes completely round the bend and starts killing everyone else, too, before being subdued. Carlson, doggedly determined of Billy’s guilt and convinced he is a homosexual, doesn't seem to care about such things as "evidence," "eyewitness accounts," or "due process" but intends to shoot Billy and the Coach anyhow. But Billy knocks the gun from his hand and shoots him. The End.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Equal Time
Here we see Billy’s mother/aunt confronting him in the shower. We clearly see his ass as he literally shouts that he’s underage. Kiss, kiss. Stay clean, now!

Worst Cover Copy

Cover
Worst Cover

Smithee Award Winner!MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"

Some Folks Just Can’t Get a Brake
Billy’s parents have left 3-year-old Billy in the tender care of his “aunt.” Now for a nice, enjoyable road trip! In the mountains! Behind a logging truck! What I don’t get is how Dad never had to use his (sabotaged) brakes even once before this point? Anyhow, careening cars, log decapitation, over the cliff screaming, and then…wait for it…wait for it…BOOM! The delayed explosion makes this and will play really well to the audience when I appear to be moving on while they’re expecting an explosion and not getting one…

"Whoops!"

The Twitching Dead/”You’re Not Gonna Shoot Nobody”/The End
In the last few minutes of the film, we see Carlson getting the drop on Billy and Coach Landers (who came over to help and support Billy). Carlson’s clearly not listening to reason. Or evidence. Or testimony. Or his fellow officers. He only knows he hates fags, and by God here’s two of ‘em, right in his gun sights. Look for:
  • Carlson not listening to Julie or his partner
  • Billy looking like Matthew Broderick
  • Landers looking like Charles Grodin
  • The body of Aunt Cheryl twitching as Landers lands on the floor from Carlson’s cold-cock (check out the eyes)
  • The gunshot sound not matching the slo-mo gun
  • Carlson’s famous last words: “You’re not gonna shoot nobody. Gimme the gun. C’mon! Give it to me!”
  • Carlson’s long, drawn-out death scene
  • The police force redeemed by the officer who looks ready to believe this was self-defense and that Carlson was a total fucktard

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Jimmy McNichol Kid/teen actor who was on some 70's/80's TV shows 
Susan Tyrrell Narrator of the animated film Wizards; Played Gretchen Feester on TV show "Open All Night" 
Bo Svenson Big blond action bit-part player, like Marines; The Great Waldo Pepper and North Dallas Forty; was Big Swede in Here Come the Brides 
Director Claim to Fame
William Asher Famed director of great TV like "I Love Lucy" and "Bewitched"...and some not-so- great movies 

Bryan Cassidy

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