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Blood Angels  (2005)
[+]
Thralls
Tagline(s):Being Wild Is in Their Blood.
Nomination Year: 2017
SYNOPSIS: A young woman gets caught up in the plans of a coven of vampires fighting to free themselves from their master.
IMDb.com
Smithee Award Nominations
"Alas, Poor Yorick"
This Vampire Movie Blows
How does the heroine find out that she's in the midst of a coven of vampires? By witnessing vamp fellatio from a closet. This vampire movie blows.
Smithee Award Winner! Deus Ex Machina
TRUCK!

Rennie hasn't earned his vamp stripes yet, but he's very confident that killing the hero will endear him to the Master. He's cornered his prey, who has a wounded leg. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

Except...

Best One-Liner
Touched by a Vampire
"I hate to interrupt this very special episode of 'Touched By A Vampire,' but..."
"WHAT?!"
So Two Half-Chihuahuas Will Make a Purebreed Chihuahua?
It takes two half-vampires to make a full vampire? What, like if a centaur and a mermaid get it on, the kid might be fully human if he/she gets the human half from each?? This makes zero sense.
Smithee Award Winner! "Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
In Soviet Union, Nipples Suck on You
The DJ finds out the...hard...way that the vampires have tentacle boobs!
Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Ron Oliver The infamous Mister Six, the dancing old man from the Six Flags commercials--LOL, just kidding. He only really LOOKS like him! Anyway, Ron directed lots (I mean LOTS) of TV (including several episodes of the awesome "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters" reboot) and was nominated for Emmys. What happened?? 
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
Lorenzo Lamas Mr. Jones Martial artist action figure who first made it big on soaps (like Lance Cumson on "Falcon Crest") then played TV's "Renegade." Was also Snake Eater from the films of the same name. Then degenerated to this fodder and things like Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
Leah Cairns Leslie Racetrack on the "Battlestar Galactica" reboot; Lois in Interstellar; Sara Pollard in 88 Minutes
Siri Baruc Ashley Sharon in The Glass Trap; Hope in Unholy; Erin in Mega Snake; and Sheila Lipton in Devil in the Flesh 2. Don't say her name near your smartphone! 
Fiona Scott Roxie Weirdly, played Splinter (like, in the fursuit) in several of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation" TV shows. Was also Fiona in Disturbing Behavior
Sonya Salomaa Lean Was Adrian Veidt's assistant who got shot in Watchmen; played Maya Kandinski on "The Collector"; and Cynthia in House of the Dead
Moneca Delain Brigitte Often cast as small-part eye candy. Janet in Trick 'r Treat; Kimba in Kill Kill Faster Faster (NOT the famous "Pussycat" one...); and Day in 3 Days in Havana
Lisa Marie Caruk Buzz Christa Marsh in the first Final Destination flick; Ken's Girlfriend in Snakes on a Plane; and the Disco Girl in Miracle
Shawn Roberts Jim Does a lot of modern zombie stuff. He's Albert Wesker in the Resident Evil franchise. Was Rogue's boyfriend in the first X- Men film. It didn't end well. 
Richard Ian Cox Rennie Lends his voice to a LOT of animated work. He voices the titular "Inuyasha." He's all over "My Little Pony" (mainly Snails). And he's the voice of several characters on "Dinotrux!" 
Kevan Ohtsji Doughboy On a few episodes of "The Man in the High Castle," "Altered Carbon," "Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies," and "Avatar: The Last Airbender" (the live-action one). Was a nervous tech in 2014's re-re-re-re-reboot of Godzilla
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