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The Barbarians (1987)
The Barbarians and Co.
Die Barbaren
I Barbari

Nomination Year: 1995
SYNOPSIS:  A pair of young brothers are kidnapped, separated, and raised as gladiators. They grow up incredibly strong, undefeatably skilled in battle...and dumb as tree stumps. When their kidnappers set them against each other, they (slowly) figure out what's happened and escape. Joined by a pretty female thief, they set out to find a magic ruby which will rescue their childhood guardian and bring about the defeat of the depraved warlord who took them and ruined their lives.

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

I Guess It Was Vulnerable to Twins
The creature stalked them for 10 minutes. It was big. It was menacing. It jumped out at them and was instantly beheaded with one stroke.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Right before We All Go Blind
The dragon rises out of the swamp. Uh, rises is right. It looks INCREDIBLY phallic.

Inane Dialogue

"Where's da Ruby?"
The brothers have a verbal discourse.
"Where's the ruby?!"
"It's not there!"
"I can see that. Where's the ruby?!"
"It's not there!"

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Acting

A Touched Renuion
The twin brothers rediscover each other in an arena battle. They flex their muscles and act stupidly and trash the place.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
David Paul  
Peter Paul  
Richard Lynch Blond, set himself on fire in 1967 after taking LSD; plays bad guys, usually 
Eva LaRue Callahan  
George Eastman  
Giovanni Cianfriglia you may wonder how his career could have topped Super Stooges vs the Wonder Women ... wonder no more! 
Director Claim to Fame
Ruggero Deodato  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.