SYNOPSIS: A determined priest defies the ultra-powerful entity that has possessed the famous house at Amityville. And the priest loses. With his dying breath, he beseeches the Lord to take this Evil away from the Earth. God grants his prayer--by launching the whole house into deep space. Fast-forward about a thousand years. A spaceship is out in the universe, closing black holes with special bombs. They come across the floating house near one of the holes. And when they board, everything inside is intact! Including the air, the priest...and the Evil.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
How To Launch a Bad Movie
The plucky priest cannot defeat Evil Otto, the Red Happy Face of Satan! He gets the spinny-mannequin treatment and loses his hand. But in a burst of piety, he cries out to the Lord to Send This Evil From The Earth! Wooosh! Booom! In a torrent of really, really Bad SPFX, the Amityville house gets launched...into SPAAAACE!
Stupidest-Looking Monster
Hellish Hairball from Harryhausen's Hemorrhoids
The valiant crew encounters a "monster" created by the Evil force in the house. It looks like a snowman made of hairballs with googly eyes pasted on, and moves in a stop-motion style that would make Ray Harryhausen puke. All of which is chroma-keyed into the main action.
"Whoops!"
"Medlab" and Crew in Robot Face
The doctor is attacked in her medlab by "tentacles," which are basically a couple of pool noodles being flapped at her by crew members, with the "red eyes" effect superimposed. The "medlab" is very obviously a high school classroom the film crew broke into one night, complete with whiteboard, pull-down projection screen, and a DRY-ERASE ERASER glaringly visible on the right. Wow, clearly 31st-Century tech there.
Meanwhile, the android Vox is about to be transported to the Amity House, but not before we CLEARLY see the crew reflected several times in his mirrored faceplate.
Crummiest Ending
Beyond Today and Past Tomorrow
Father Benna lures "the Evil" into the transporter and the captain beams them out into, uh, "space" and shoots them with a laser beam or something. The good priest goes to Heaven. The captain and doctor get sucked into the black hole, with unknown results. The (now evil) possessed Admiral says all is going according to plan, setting up the sequel. While I finish filling my barf bag.
Worst Acting
Hopping the Red Eye
"Satan" looks like a red happy-face! And Jeff K. is acting woodenly as usual.
Worst Picture
Priest Has a Red-Alert Disco Freakout
Father Benna is trying to cross an area the Evil doesn't want him to, so he gets sent all these visions and cuts and stupid FX.
"Photon Decelerator"...Riiight
The captain, doctor, and priest are stuck in the Amity house and their possessed crewmate is on the ship, stopping them from using the transporter. BUT! The captain pulls from his pocket a "Photon Decelerator!" With this miracle device, he explains (nearly flubbing the line), they can 'port over to the ship themselves. Nevermind this could have saved their bacon a couple of times before. Why didn't they use it then??
One of Wildeye's premiere directors, he's fast
becoming one of the formemost directors of schlock
ever, though he's got only about 80 films under his
belt so far, including Land Shark,
Sister Krampus, and the entire
Feeders, Empire of the
Apes, and R.I.P Van Winkle
franchises.
One of the Wildeye pantheon of "stars,"
has been in about 25 movies so far, all
Smithee-worthy. Starting with
Sharkenstein, moving
through Frozen Sasquatch
and Camp Murder... You get
the idea.
One of the Wildeye bunch, she's been in
pretty much exclusively Smithee-worthy
films, from Amityville Death
House to Revolt of the
Empire of the Apes to The
Man with No Pants.
What can I say about Jeff Kirkendall?
Arguably the star in the Wildeye crown,
he "graces" over 65 Bad films,
including It Kills,
Bigfoot vs. Zombies,
Ghost of Camp Blood, and
R.I.P Van Winkle parts 1,
2, and 3.
Been in many Bad movies, mainly with
Wildeye, including Shark Enounters
of the Third Kind, Frozen
Sasquatch, and, uh, Camp
Blood 666 Part 2: Exorcism of the
Clown.