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Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966)
Billy the Kid versus Dracula

Nomination Year: 1994
SYNOPSIS:  In this move, Dracula (John Carradine) starts sucking right away. This time, for no good reason, his victims are in the Old West. Drac finds a beautiful female rancher and poses as her long-lost uncle as he plots to make her his undead bride. Thus entrenched in the town, the vampire is free to suck blood by night. One problem: this rancher-gal is the Billy the Kid's girlfriend. Billy, with the help of the town's granny-like doctor, eventually uncovers and defeats the ancient evil (lamely), rescuing his ladylove from a fate not nearly as bad as this film.

Most Ludicrous Premise

A Dumb Blonde
The film's title just about says it all. What's Dracula doing in the Wild West, anyway? Here, in the very first scene of the movie, he sucks on a pioneer girl who happens to be from Romania. A fake bat-on-a-string lands behind the family's covered wagon, then a second later, out walks John Carradine. He heads for the sleeping bags and leans over his wide-awake victim, who seems unable or unwilling to defend herself or cry out.

Best One-Liner

That's an Understatement
Billy the Kid is talking with Henrietta, an old woman who's the local country doctor. He asks her for her advice on what's happening, and eventually the topic of conversation turns to vampires. "I been readin' up on the subject," the Doc tells Billy. There is a short, uncomfortable pause before she continues: "It's pretty spooky!"

"Whoops!"

"And I Vould Like an Order of Garlic Bread To Go, Please."
Dracula is coming downstairs from his room at the local saloon. If you look carefully as he walks across the bar-room, you can see that Dracula, King of Vampires somehow shows up in the big bar mirror. Of course, the fact that vampires don't show up in mirrors is emphasized later in the picture.

Smithee Award Winner!MegaMetaSmithee Award Winner! "WHAT?!"

Good Thing He Dunked His Six-Shooter in Holy Water Before He Left
His true nature finally revealed, Dracula kidnaps Billy's fiancee and spirits her to an old cave, where he intends to transform her into his vampiric bride forever. Billy shows up, but is quickly overpowered by the vampire's strength. Suddenly, two of Billy's friends -- the town's lady doctor and the sheriff -- rush into the room. The sheriff pulls out a six-shooter and empties it at Dracula. Dracula laughs. "Your bullets can't hurt me...or her, now." The fiend indicates the inert woman. At this point, Billy recovers from where he lay stunned. Snarling "Gimme that!" he grabs the empty gun from the dumbfounded sheriff and hurls it at the vampire. Now, you'd expect that would be even less effective than shooting him, but no. Instead, the gun hits Dracula smack in the forehead and knocks him unconscious! Seizing his opportunity, Billy grabs a handy nearby stake and does the obvious. The "stake" is really a railroad spike, and it makes nice metallic sounds as he pounds it into John Carridine's chest. Then, for no good reason, a bat flies out of the cave, drops to the ground, and begins to smoulder and roast in the sunlight outdoors. None of us could figure out what in blazes that was supposed to mean, because Dracula's body is still clearly on the floor of the cavern in the next shot, where Billy proclaims: "That'll get him for what he did to Betty." Yes, but who will avenge us viewers? And remember, folks: guns don't kill people. They kill vampires. Ah, just forget it.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Chuck Courtney  
John Carradine Shakespearean actor, his deep voice is instantly recognizable, as is his presence in many mediocre horror films toward the end of his career 
Melinda Plowman  
Harry Carey, Jr. Son of famous silent star; plays cowboys, mostly 
George Cisar  
Director Claim to Fame
William Beaudine Earned nickname "One-Shot" for his tendency to ignore errors rather than reshoot a scene 

Bryan Cassidy

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