The end of a season means the beginning of a new one.
Nomination Year: 2025
SYNOPSIS:
Allegedly, this film is about two neurology students who meet by chance, and one of them, Matthew, has developed these mind-reading earbuds and he recruits the other, Sarah, to help test them.
Sarah starts having visions of the future. No, really.
And starts talking to the ghost of a guy murdered by a serial killer. No, really. But then the serial killer comes after them and is stopped by the ghost. No, really. Or maybe NOT really...because then Matthew wakes up.
Was it a all a dream? Parts of it? Would YOU dream of a phone conversation so boring and banal that Smithee Spawn #1 and I both literally fell asleep during the screening? We are left scratching our heads. And yawning. Normally, I would balk at including "boring" in the Smithees. But parts of this stinker are truly golden, and even the boring parts are so hilariously over-the-top that the boring is the point.
Apparently, this film was released in only four cities. After its theatrical run, the film's distributor called each theatre individually and told them to burn the prints because it was cheaper than sending them back. This is a movie so stultifyingly BAD that there is legitimate evidence that the whole thing was a scam by the writer/producer/director/cinematographer Mark Region in order to perpetrate tax fraud. (Reported $5 MILLION budget; apparent budget...maybe $100K?) And I mean...what guy who does all that doesn't also star in the thing...and has only ONE online photo and doesn't seem to have ANY internet presense?
And no, I don't know what the title means, so stop asking, okay?
Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Worst Special Effect
This CGI Is for the Birds
They're trying out the new brain CHIPS, and things get weirder and weirder. Starting with shapes, going through weird birds, then ending with a human (?) figure with crazy "eyes." It all looks like cutting edge CGI...from 1986.
Deus Ex Machina
Bad Actor Killer Knocked Out by Ghost Chair
The two experimenters are alone in the facility...then they hear a thunk. Of course, they rush toward it. In the hall, a crazed serial killer who cannot act is crouched over a body. The researchers retreat.
In comes the killer, looking around and walking like a cartoon character. BANG! A chair slides by itself and flies into him, kayoing him.
The researchers express disbelief (badly) while the woman nonchalantly informs the cops that yeah, a killer is right here with them.
Inane Dialogue
One Letter Rises...
"Picture a flat surface. From the surface, one letter rises."
"From the alphabet?"
"Yes."
Worst Acting
The "FBI" "Agent"
Jittery, staccato performance by the "FBI" agent in his "FBI" jacket in the "Observation Room" for "Cell 1."
Guy's name is Willaim York, playing FBI Agent "Henry Hem." Ahem.
Worst Picture
Glaringly Fake MRI in Glaringly Fake Hospital
So, you know how when you're house-sitting for some friends and you decide to shoot a movie in their place? Well, it looks like they converted a nursery of a suburban house into a makeshift "hospital," complete with a cardboard-box "MRI machine" and a "console" with a cheap computer mike. The "MRI" makes clicking sounds that are suspiciously like some guy off camera tapping a pencil.
A Movie So Boring the CHARACTERS Fall Asleep
After pretending to be shoved around by a ghost for a bit, the main character suddenly wakes up. It was all a dream! Or WAS it...?
Did one short before this (Medium
Waves), then this. He then either seemed
to learn his lesson, or the whole damn thing was
insurance fraud. Either way, we're left with a
Smithee classic.
Did surprisingly many things. Well, 25
or so. But for a movie of this
"quality," I fully expected this to be
his only credit. Was Dr. Ernheiser in
The Cost of the Living: A Zom Rom
Com and Kevin in Burial
Boys.
Mark Region
Jason Kulas
Peggy McClellan
William York
Casey McDougal
Tristan Cole
Scott Winters
