Eegah! The Name Written in Blood
Eegah: The Name Written in Blood
Nomination Year: 1994
SYNOPSIS: Richard Keil is a caveman who's survived from prehistoric times by drinking special water in his secret desert cave. He's accidentally discovered by Vicky, a wealthy industrialist's daughter, when her sports car almost totals itself against him. She tells her father about the encounter. When Dad goes off to seek this throwback and vanishes, it's up to Vicky and her twisted-faced boyfriend (who's got water in his dune-buggy tires) to brave the desert to rescue him. They find the cave, where Dad and caveman sit having a quiet chat. "Eegah" (as the caveman is dubbed) becomes smitten with Vicky and eventually follows her to the modern world. But, alas, our world was not meant for one such as Eegah. Shot by those who do not understand him, Eegah falls into a swimming pool and dissolves.
- Worst Acting
"Watch Out for Snakes!"
As Dad sets out to search for the caveman, you hear a voice out of nowhere say, "Watch out for snakes!" Guess it's the cameraman. Later, as he's (seemingly) attacked by Eegah, he tries to look scared and say "Oh, No! No! Noo!" But he fails to convince. Indeed, he fails to sync his words to his lips.
- Worst Picture
Vicky first encounters Eegah by almost hitting him with her tiny sports car. It's a good thing she didn't, or the car, which is half the size of Richard Keil, would have been totaled. Eegah stands like a deer in the headlights. In fact, he's carrying a deer when the headlights hit him. He attacks the metal monster with his club, which causes Vicky to faint dead away.
- Worst Picture
No Lifeguard on Duty: Listen at Your Own Risk!
Arch Hall, Jr. playing the dog-faced "hero" (for lack of a better term) sings an interminable and insipid poolside song, "Vicky," as he strums to an out-of-tune guitar. Ouch. It's truly painful to the eye and ear.
- Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame Richard Kiel "Jaws" from James Bond (Moonraker) Arch Hall, Jr. Squashed-faced guitar player who we only know of because of his rich, producer dad Marilyn Manning Arch Hall, Sr. Rich, producer dad to less-than-mediocre singer/actor Arch Hall, Jr.
Director Claim to Fame Arch Hall, Sr.
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