Click to See Cover!
Empire of the Ants (1977)
H.G. Wells' Empire of the Ants

Nomination Year: 1996
SYNOPSIS:  A crooked realtor (Joan Collins) tries to sell some tracts of land on an island which was a toxic waste dump, only to discover that the waste has infested the island with giant killer ants. A surly boat captain strands her and a small group of her crew and ex-customers, who begin to be picked off by the humungous insects in a series of near-death encounters. Their only chance is on the other side of the island, where there are supposed to be a few fishing and farming villages. But as they travel, the group learns that they're not being chased, but rather herded by the surprisingly intelligent ants to these villages, where the Ant Queen controls the humans via pheremones. Today the island -- tomorrow, the world! They can have it.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

"Hellp Meeeee! Hellllp Meeeeee!"
The pheremone-controlled humans get in line for daily treatments. The Queen Ant is in this glass booth, and the humans lean down to a vent on the booth's outside and inhale deeply as the queen squirts some yellowish powder in their faces. Bad enough, but the shot of the Queen is only Stock Footage of a plain old worker ant, blown up and superimposed on the booth. Its scrabbling at the walls doesn't look menacing or calculating. In fact, it looks like it's only thought is to get the hell out of there.

Worst Special Effect

Filmed in Glorious Ant-Vision!
When the camera shifts to a giant ant's point-of-view, it's supposed to simulate an insect's multi-faceted eyes. But this bargain-basement effect looks exactly like someone just took a Lite-Brite and stuck it in front of the camera.

Worst Picture

Who Are the Real Ant-Brains Here?
The ants take over people's minds. Right.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Joan Collins The bitch-on-wheels who put the "nasty" in Dynasty 
Robert Lansing  
Harry Holcombe  
Robert Pine had roles in the Black Scorpion TV series, The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, Independence Day, and was "Sgt. Joseph Getraer" in CHiPs and all spin-offs 
Director Claim to Fame
Burt I. Gordon  

Bryan Cassidy

To the Film Gallery Return to Lobby
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]


© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.