Nomination Year: 1995

SYNOPSIS: A horrific and pointless glimpse into the life of a 1950's transvestite. Bela Lugosi "narrates" (for lack of a better word) this tale of a psychiatrist narrating a tale of seemingly ordinary men going around wearing women's clothing. The story focuses on one man in particular, Glen, who must screw up enough courage to tell his fiancee exactly why he likes her angora sweater so much... This thin plot is punctuated (interrupted?) throughout with: 1) stream-of-consciousness images of the Devil and sado-masochism, 2) meaningless psychobabble proferred by the supposed psychologist, 3) interludes featuring Bela spouting cryptic phrases, and 4) stock footage of buffalo. As a whole, it's nearly totally incomprehensible -- in other words, it's vintage Ed Wood, Jr.

Smithee Award Nominations

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
Pull the Plug! Pull the Plug! For no discernable reason, Bela Lugosi appears in the top half of the screen and yells, "Pull the string! Pull the string!"	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

The Odd Dietary Habits of Mythical Reptiles and Other Strange Facts about Transvestites "Beware of the big, green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy-dog tails, and BIG, FAT snails."

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Science
He Got His Ph.D. in Pink Cotton Panties The "doctor" "explains" the "psychological" basis for cross-dressing. Does anybody care?	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"WHAT?!"

"Dear Satan -- Thank You for the Lovely Tea Cozies..." Glen/da falls down and has the weirdest-ass dream sequence I have ever seen. At first it makes some sort of sense (well, not really), but then a ridiculous-looking Devil appears at Glen's dream wedding. The Devil looks like he has moth's antennae where his horns should be, and freakishly enormous eyebrows and buck teeth. All he does is stand nearby, smiling and nodding approvingly.

Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Acting
"When I Said I'd Give You My Support, I Didn't Mean You Could Have My Bra!" Glen's girlfriend -- Ed Wood's real-life lover, Dolores Fuller -- decides after much soul-searching to stick by Glen and work things out together. As a symbol of her willingness to try and understand him, she gives her angora sweater to a confused Glen, giving the audience nausea in the process.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Picture
Had LSD Been Discovered Back Then? More of the dream sequence (see "WHAT?!"), after it degenerates into nothing but *20 minutes* of a woman being ravished and whipped on a couch, to carnival music. No, there's no nudity -- it's the 50's, after all. Still, one can only imagine that somebody was trying to Give 'Em What They Want, assuming what they want is mindlessly tedious titillation.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Edward D. Wood, Jr.	Hailed as the WORST director of all time

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Edward D. Wood, Jr.	<Not Yet in Database>	Hailed as the WORST director of all time
Dolores Fuller	<Not Yet in Database>	Ed Wood's ex-girlfriend, which is the only reason she'd be on screen, if you ask me.
Bela Lugosi	<Not Yet in Database>	THE "Dracula"
Timothy Farrell	<Not Yet in Database>
Lyle Talbot	<Not Yet in Database>
Conrad Brooks	<Not Yet in Database>	He was one of the actors who appeared in all three of Ed Wood's classic early movies: Glen or Glenda?, Bride of the Monster, and Plan 9 From Outer Space. Went full Smithee and never looked back, including appearing in Guns of El Chubacabra.

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