Nomination Year: 1996

SYNOPSIS: Lou Ferrigno stars as Hercules in this Italian take on the famous legend. Sadly, as is so typical in early-80's Italian takes on anything, this one is avant-garde to the point of being particularly ludicrous. It might as well have been called Hercules in Space or Hercules vs. the Lame-Ass Mechanical Creatures, because the "gods" that oppose him send these clockwork monstrosities that always get defeated in a flash of blue chroma-key light. He befriends Circe the witch who, in complete defiance of classic mythology, helps him reclaim his love from the evil Daedalus. This is all punctuated by Lou's non-acting and dubbed voice, and some of the cheesiest effects of the era. Must be seen to be believed.

Smithee Award Nominations

Worst Special Effect
Mighty Pantheon's Flying Herc-Catch Baby Hercules is sent downstream in a basket, Moses-style. As it's about to go over a waterfall, Zeus intervenes. He sticks his hand through the back of the waterfall and catches the plummeting basket. At least we're supposed to believe it's Zeus's hand -- the truly primitive claymation hand looks like it's straight out of Monty Python.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

I Forgot You Could Stab With Them, Too Herc is chained in the evil queen's dungeon, and just for extra measure, he's literally surrounded (i.e., in a ring) by spear-toting guards. The bad queen and her entourage come to gloat, and Herc strains against the chains. When it looks like he's going to break free, the idiots all throw their spears. Herc simply steps leisurely aside, and a spear guts the bad lady's handmaiden in -- I'm sorry -- a tremendously hilarious fashion.

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Stupidest-Looking Monster

Attack of the Mechanical Space Bee In one of the opening scenes, we see Hercules plowing a field. Without a horse. Daedalus and his god friend send the first of the mechanical menaces: a giant flying "bee" is our best guess. All it ever does is flap its wings and snap its tiny jaws -- I don't know what it was supposed to accomplish in the way of destruction. It's clearly a model superimposed onto the scene, and Lou does his best to pretend it's really there. Herc defeats it by throwing a big log at it, and it crashes and disappears, rimmed with blue light. The encounter is truly laughable all the way through.

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Worst Acting

How Much for Just the Muscles? If anyone's going to play Hercules, Lou Ferigno pops right to mind (hey, it beats casting some skinny blond guy, right?). Unfortunately, due to a hearing problem, Lou couldn't really speak or act beyond grunts and roars. That's perfect for The Incredible Hulk, but they had to dub his voice for all his lines in Hercules. That's one strike against the film right there, but sadly, Lou can't really emote well, either. In this scene, he has to get a magic amulet and pretend to be in pain from the mystical field protecting it. It looks more like he's trying to remember his next line. When he gets mad at Circe, he yells, "A curse on you!" with a constipated look on his contorted face.

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Worst Picture

Stand Back, He's Gonna Hurl! Herc and Circe now need to travel to Daedalus's fortress. They have a chariot and rope, but no horses. Then Hercules gets the bright idea to tie the rope around a convenient boulder and whirl the thing around his head, hurling it out ahead of them. It works! They're pulled through space, past multicolored planets and stars. They make a whooshing sound as they go by and somehow Herc seems to be able to steer, because the chariot appears to turn several times. Once you've stretched the laws of Physics that far, why not break them entirely? Suddenly, the rope snaps and our heroes are hurtled down into the ocean near the fortress, where Circe reveals that Hercules has made her lose all her power...by making her fall in love. [Please insert retching noises here] I want to know how that rope broke! It's not like the rock was accelerating. And even if the rope did break, why would they fall? Argh!

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The Fur Flies A bear kills Herc's father. (His foster-father, that is, not Zeus.) In a blind rage, Hercules fights the [guy in a lame-looking] bear [suit], then throws the defeated bear into space where it becomes a constellation! To add dumbness to stupidity, they then superimpose a picture of the bear roaring. Argh! I'll never forget the ceremony we showed this -- we'd just presented the first of the two Worst Picture clips (see above), and the crowd started chanting "More! More!" They weren't disappointed. We gave them this. All right, maybe they were disappointed.

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Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Luigi Cozzi

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Lou Ferrigno	<Not Yet in Database>	Mostly-deaf bodybuilder who played TV's The Incredible Hulk
Sybil Danning	<Not Yet in Database>	Gorgeous and famous blonde actress with perhaps a bit of a lapse in judging scripts. She loves the cheesy fantasy and sci-fi, especially werewolves. Was in Halloween (2007 version), Battle Beyond the Stars, Amazon Women on the Moon (as Queen Lara), Warrior Queen, Hercules as Adriana. And many other Smithee-level schlock.
Ingrid Anderson	<Not Yet in Database>
William Berger	<Not Yet in Database>
Claudio Cassinelli	<Not Yet in Database>	Zeus in Hercules (the Lou Ferrigno film, not the TV show) and Jesus in The Good Thief.
Gianni Garko	<Not Yet in Database>
Giovanni Cianfriglia	<Not Yet in Database>	You may wonder how his career could have topped Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Women ... wonder no more! Popping up in such strange places as the star of the Superargo franchise to bit parts in Ladyhawke and The Last Temptation of Christ to doing stunts for Jewel of the Nile.
Stelio Candelli	<Not Yet in Database>

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