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Ninja the Protector (1986)

Nomination Year: 1999
SYNOPSIS:  A convoluted nexus of interlocking subplots that would take pages to describe, so I'll summarize: Cops, crooks, ninja, martial arts, sex on the beach.

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

Passive-Aggressive or Just Plain Stupid?
"I like people who are honest and you lied to me earlier, but now you're telling me the truth, so I'll hire you."

Huh?

Best One-Liner

When Secret Santa Gets out of Hand
"This is my present."
Aw, how thoughtful. Somebody left me a ninja. I hope they left the receipt, too.
This is what happens when Secret Santa gets out of hand.

Smithee Award Winner! Inane Dialogue

The Unrefusable Challenge
"It's a challenge. No one can refuse a challenge."
"Are you going to accept the challenge?"
Jeez, it's like talking to a wall.

Worst Picture

Ninjas: Men of Ancient Traditions
OK, I know ninja movies can get pretty weird, but the final battle scene is a ninja joust on motorcycles. With fire extinguishers. The traditional way of settling ninja conflicts.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Richard Harrison best Caucasian Ninja ever! 
David Bowles  
Warren Chan  
Morna Lee  
Director Claim to Fame
Godfrey Ho possibly directed more Smithee films than anyone else - also known as: Alton Cheung, Tommy Cheung, Ho Chi-Keung, Elton Chong, Daniel Clough, Leong Fui Fong, Antonin Gasner, Martin Greenfield, Godfrey Hall, Zhi Jiang He, Benny Ho, Chi-Mou Ho, Chun-Sing Ho, Fong Ho, York Lam, Bruce Lambert, Charles Lee, Frank Lewis, Joe Livingstone, Jerry Sawyer, Victor Sears, Robert Young, Albert Yu 

Greg Pearson

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.