| "Alas, Poor Yorick" | |
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Death By Silly String™ The guard sees the wooden deadbolt float up. Puzzled, he investigates. A tube protrudes from the crack in the door. Pop-whirrr! He's killed by neon green Silly String, courtesy of the blind witch-woman, who knew Hawk was in trouble by gazing into her magic fire. How nice....
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| Best One-Liner | |
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Mace in the Face The giant rigs a clever (for a giant) confinement for the captured Hunchback. They tie him face-up on his back under a tree. The giant pulls Hunchy's own humungous spiked mace way high up in the tree using a pulley. Then he sticks the end of the rope in the Hunchback's mouth. After a bit of taunting, the infuriated Hunchback screams in fury, with the result that the mace comes crashing down. The giant's comment: "Some people just can't keep their mouths shut."
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| Worst Acting | |
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You DID Prove Yourself: You Proved Yourself a Total Idiot Two goons carry B/Voltan's dying son back to their master. "I just wanted to prove myself..." are his final words. Jack Palance then tries to emote. He expresses his grief in a rather constructive way. Saying that it's fitting that his son should be buried with dogs at this feet, he "challenges" the two messenger-underlings to a rather one-sided fight. Even though he stands with his back to both of them, they are very uneasy, glancing at one another and hesitating to attack. Sensing that they're really just extras and have no chance, they both refuse to fight, shakily laying down their weapons. Does B/Voltan a) understand, and tell them to leave in peace, b) embrace them as valuable employees who made a tough decision under hard circumstances, or c) kill them both where they stand using concealed throwing daggers? The answer: C. |
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| Worst Picture | |
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The Superball Confetti Fight They really pulled out all the stops in the special effects budget for this one. The sorceress says she'll use her magic to help them in the final fight against B/Voltan and his men. And boy, does she. First, a spinning column of bouncing glow-in-the-dark super-balls (she calls them "firebolts") confuses them (and us). Then some confetti "snow" or something blows into the room. And the fight is on! Auto Elf and Auto Crossbow Guy go into full swing as does the giant and Hawk with his Mindsword.
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| Director | Claim to Fame |
|---|---|
 Terry Marcel |
Director of The Last Seduction II, if that tells you anything |
| Actor | Character | Claim to Fame |
|---|---|---|
 Jack Palance |
<Not Yet in Database> | Gravelly tough-guy through and through. Has been playing badasses in countless films, including Curly in City Slickers and Yves Perret in Tango & Cash. Famously did one-handed push-ups at the Oscars at a very advanced age. |
| John Terry |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| Peter O'Farrell |
<Not Yet in Database> | A little person, he played "Pox" in Legend |
| Bernard Bresslaw |
<Not Yet in Database> | Famous in Britain as the "Carry On" chap |
| Ray Charleson |
<Not Yet in Database> | |
| William Morgan Sheppard |
<Not Yet in Database> | Bit actor who now does voices in very bad animated shows and video games |
| Patricia Quinn |
<Not Yet in Database> | Magenta (A Domestic) in The Rocky Horror Picture Show |
 Catriona MacColl |
Eliane | Injured ballerina turned Italian scream queen and B-movie/TV actress. |
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