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Laser Mission (1990)
Soldier of Fortune

Nomination Year: 2000
SYNOPSIS:  When brilliant scientist Ernest Borgnine is kidnapped by terrorists who want to use his revolutionary laser for evil purposes, it's up to his daughter and CIA agent Brandon Lee to rescue him and keep the laser out of the hands of the terrorists.

Good games to play during this film include "spot the accent" with Borgnine and "try and guess which country the film is set in."

Oblivious

Be Vewwy Vewwy Quiet
Brandon sneaks up on guard.

Smithee Award Winner! Deus Ex Machina

Trapped!
Brandon is trapped! A group of policemen is even right now breaking down the door of the room he's hiding in. They go through the door, and promptly knock one another down the stairs.

Worst Cover Copy

HIGHEST QUALITY!
On both front and back cover it claims "Recorded in SP for HIGHEST QUALITY" -- this can only be described as hucksterism at its finest.

Inane Dialogue

"At Least Now We're out of Danger."
"At least now we're out of danger."
*gunshot*

Worst Acting

Ernest Borgnine, Professor Variable Accent #2
Professor Variable Accent (perhaps he taught The Lost Idol's Dr. Variable Accent?). Is he Scottish or is he German? We don't know and neither does he.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Brandon Lee Ill-fated son of ill-fated Bruce Lee. Full name: Brandon Bruce Lee 
Debi A. Monahan Sometimes credited as Debi Monahan 
Ernest Borgnine Was TV's "McHale," won an Oscar for Marty, then played lots of B-Movie and B-TV bit parts; ubiquitous 
Graham Clarke  
Walter Pochath  
Pierre Knoessen  
Maureen Lahoud She was a stuntwoman for American Ninja 4
Director Claim to Fame
Beau Davis  

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.