Alienator (1989)

Nomination Year: 2001
SYNOPSIS:  An alien criminal has escaped to Earth where he is hunted by a killer female android. A group of hapless teenagers are caught in the crossfire.

Stupidest-Looking Monster

Clearly, These Aliens Have Been Monitoring Our Broadcasts of RuPaul
The main baddie is an unstoppable Dominatrix Drag-Queen Droid, built like a titanium you-know-what house. A silver mane of hair, tons of makeup, and what appear to be two hubcaps for a bra make for one horrifically Stupid-Looking Monster.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Science

Wire We Even Watching This?
The geek gets the drop on Dominatrix Droid -- literally. From the top of the henhouse, he manages to throw some chicken wire on her and as she's shorting out in a bunch of bad special effects, he explains, "Look! I've created a magnetic plane perpendicular to the Earth's axis, which is siphoning off her negative electrons!" Yeah, right. Translation: "Uh...I just dropped some chicken wire on her and she blew up."

Inane Dialogue

But It Could've Been Swamp Gas
Must have been a meteor.

Worst Acting

Jan-Michael Vincentheimer Schmidt
Jan-Michael Vincent tries to act macho and tough, but even his female co-star doesn't buy it. I guess he kinda has to put on the macho act: The guy's got three first names, and one of 'em's a girl's.

Worst Picture

We Don't Cotton to Them City-Slicker's Shenanigans
(clip one) - The mediocrity stylings of the hillbilly duo.

Worst Picture

Beat Me Up All You Want, Just Don't Try To Act
(clip two) - Bug Face gets worked over in his cell by a marble-mouthed Jan-Michael Vincent trying to act like John Wayne.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Jan-Michael Vincent In a lot of action/sci-fi; you've probably seen him. "Hawke" on Airwolf 
John Phillip Law played the angel "Pygar" in Barbarella, then was typecast as space villains 
Ross Hagen not only did he play "Rommel" in the MST3K "classic" film The Sidehackers, he also produced it 
Dyana Ortelli  
Richard Wiley  
Robert Quarry Count Yorga 
Jay Richardson from The Newlydeads through The Witches of Breastwick, his career spans the The
Dan Golden  
Director Claim to Fame
Fred Olen Ray in addition to directing films, he wrestles in the ACW 

Matt Quirk

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