Ninja Thunderbolt (1985)
Ninja and the Thief
To Catch a Ninja

Nomination Year: 2001
SYNOPSIS:  Another film which has Richard Harrison and other Caucasian actors spliced into an otherwise-Oriental martial arts film.

Richard Harrison (our Caucasian hero) has left the Ninja(r) Empire after realizing that it has become corrupt. The Ninja(r) Empire sends operatives to kill him.

Meanwhile, in the Oriental film, Richard (via telephone) contacts a local police detective (our Oriental hero), and puts him on the trail of the boss of the Ninja(r) Empire, which results in everyone being attacked by Ninjas (in one particularly memorable scene, Ninjas on rollerskates -vs- our hero in a three-wheeled car).

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

Everyone Must Die!
Everyone must die!
Why was that again?
Something to do with the ninja something something what now? Oh, just forget it....

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

"Come Scrub My Back..."
The woman who leads the consortium of evil ninjas is trying to seduce her date for the evening. She'll be ready in just a minute -- but she'd be ready faster if he came into the shower and scrubbed her back.

"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"

Bazooka Pistol vs. Pinto
Nothing quite says overkill like the combination of a very large gun and a very small car.

"WHAT?!"

Magician Drug Dealer
The drug dealer pulls packets of drugs out of the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places -- and he keeps it up for quite a while (fourteen packets!). As though he were a stage magician gone horribly terribly awry.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Picture

Roller Ninjas vs. Trike Car
(clip two) - The Local Police Detective is being chased by several ninjas. He hops into his (dinky little three-wheeled) car and speeds off. But the ninjas are on roller skates! They follow him on a merry chase through town until he drives uphill, at which point the ninjas get all tired out and give up.

I hope you don't think I'm joking.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Picture

"Ninja!"
(clip one) - Richard Harrison's ninja runs up a large grassy hill, and at the top he spreads his arms wide, and yells "Ninja!"

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Richard Harrison best Caucasian Ninja ever! 
Don Wong Sometimes credited as Tao Wang 
Yasuaki Kurata Has 16 other names in the Internet Movie Database that he is sometimes credited as. 
Barbara Yuen  
Randy To  
Director Claim to Fame
Godfrey Ho possibly directed more Smithee films than anyone else - also known as: Alton Cheung, Tommy Cheung, Ho Chi-Keung, Elton Chong, Daniel Clough, Leong Fui Fong, Antonin Gasner, Martin Greenfield, Godfrey Hall, Zhi Jiang He, Benny Ho, Chi-Mou Ho, Chun-Sing Ho, Fong Ho, York Lam, Bruce Lambert, Charles Lee, Frank Lewis, Joe Livingstone, Jerry Sawyer, Victor Sears, Robert Young, Albert Yu 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.