Demon Keeper (1994)
Nomination Year: 2001
SYNOPSIS: They can keep it. In a nutshell, Remy (Edward Albert) is a con-artist
psychic who wants to bilk a rich old lady out of her money. Alex (Dirk
Benedict) is a REAL psychic hired by the old lady's son to flush out Remy's
chicanery. Knowing he has to do something really special to fool Alex, Remy
screws with an ancient book and releases a demon which kills them all one by
one, possessing people through their weaknesses. And believe me, there's a
lot of those.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise |
Asmodeus Is Grumpy First Thing in the Morning Dirk abjures the demon to come out and explain things, hamming
it up all the way (Dirk, that is -- the demon has an excuse). The Great and
Powerful Asmodeus appears to tell them that they've disturbed him and he
will claim their souls before dawn.
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Deus Ex Machina |
God Says No Asmodeus has
taken over Remy and is about to kill Alex. Or at least he WOULD, if the
DEMON HIMSELF didn't warn Alex to look out. And as if that isn't
enough, they go out into the "raging" thunderstorm, Dirk trips and looks
whiny, then (you guessed it) BOOM! Remy's uplifted sword acts as a lightning
rod.
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Stupidest-Looking Monster |
Loki, the Amazing Dog Puppet Remy's assistant (who I was grooming for a Worst Acting nod) is feeding
the dog. I don't think he'll eat much, lady, because your dog's A PUPPET!
Now would someone like to tell me WHY they'd need to make a puppet dog? I
mean, how hard/expensive could it be to get a dog? They're free from the
pound! Even a still photo of a German Shepherd with a guy saying "Woof,
Woof" in the background would've been better than this. And later, we see
they HAD a real dog! I guess the dog's agent wouldn't let him have more
than so many minutes of screen time.
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"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'" |
Backrub? The scene at the window was going to be a Worst Acting clip for the
girl, until I changed my nomination to Dirk (you'll see why later). She
says Loki "attacked" her. Right. The real "action" starts when Remy's two
female assistants decide to relax with a little massage. How convenient.
That's when the demon kicks in and bring's out Dorothy's Lesbian tendencies.
Am I the only
one who thinks "Asmodeus" looks like a Ferengi?
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Worst Acting |
Somehow, Dirk Outdoes Even Himself At the end, Dirk REALLY overacts as he challenges the demon to enter him and ("with this
ring I thee wed...") traps the demon in his own soul. OUR souls, if they
haven't been lost earlier, were destroyed by Dirk's acting.
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Worst Picture |
"Call Upon a Higher Power" Two people are dead, and Remy comes clean. Alex (after first suggesting there's nothing he can do) says he can do
something: a seance! (We all know how useful they were in the Great House
at Collinwood, don't we?) Then comes the part I adore: Alex asks everyone
to call upon a "higher power." There's a pause, and we see...a naked woman!
There's your Higher Power. Uh, Dirk, I think you're jamming the frequencies
a little here. Check out Edward Albert's face during the seance. Even he
doesn't buy it.
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Swing and a Miss, Strike Three This clip pretty much speaks for itself. Ah, there's
nothing like an old lady pitching over a balcony.
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Cast
Actor |
Character |
Claim to Fame |
Edward Albert |
<Not Yet in Database> |
Son of Eddie Albert of Green Acres fame. Sadly, not as talented as dad. |
Dirk Benedict |
<Not Yet in Database> |
"Starbuck" (not the coffee) from Battlestar Galactica and "Face" on The A-Team |
© 1992-2025 Bryan D. Cassidy and Greg Pearson. All Rights Reserved.