Dead Fire (1997)
Le Vaisseau de l'Enfer

Nomination Year: 2003
SYNOPSIS:  Description of the movie's "plot" goes here.

Deus Ex Machina

Going Down?
The power went out when the rebel leader's coup successfully took over the ship, leaving our hero (Brody, played by Colin Cunningham) stranded on the bottom cryofloor. He's the "man of action" type, so he started the long, long, long climb up the elevator shaft. Guess what happens 147 floors later?

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Science

The Plot Fell into a Burning So-Called "Ring of Fire"
The scene: the vast cryoship Legacy, orbiting an Earth laid waste by the last atomic war. These scientific cuties are going to use a solar flare and -- of all things -- the Hubble telescope to shoot a burst of energy through the network of remaining satellites, thus re-ionizing the atmosphere and making everything instantly okay again. Uh-huh. Don't know about you, but I wouldn't want the fate of the Earth dependent on the Hubble...

"WHAT?!"

And He Sinks It!
Well, instead of a particle physicist, they accidentally unfroze his pool shark twin brother to save the world but, hey, it's okay because it's "all just angles and velocities, right?" To add insult to stupidity, he goes on to do just that, using the shuttle to knock the Hubble into just the right angle -- with the help of a computer pool program! The baddies are blown up with their own lasers, providing just enough energy for the satellite network to rejuvenate the Earth and everyone's happy.

Acting Appropriately Stupid

Ooo, Baby, You Make Me So Cold
The goon has been sent down to thaw a specific scientist for the rebel leader. Brody, who's really a security officer, poses as a cryotechnician and takes care of the horny goon with some clever fast-talk. I let the scene run long so that you could also witness C. Thomas Howell emerging from cryosleep with, yes, a POOL CUE, which he actually uses...

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Colin Cunningham  
Monika Schnarre Canadian hottie who was Ivana Richards Vanderveld on The Bold and the Beautiful and the Sorceress on the Beastmaster TV show 
Matt Frewer "Max Headroom" himself (as well as, sadly, Lawnmower Man II) 
C. Thomas Howell Rae Dawn Chong's ex-husband who was Ponyboy Curtis in The Outsiders; was also Soul Man 
Rachel Hayward  
Director Claim to Fame
Robert Lee He was the assistant director of several Smithee films, always behind the scenes, waiting... 

Anne O'Nymous

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