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Death Machine (1995)

Nomination Year: 2005
SYNOPSIS:  Stop me if you've heard this one before. In the future, the Chaank Corporation is one of America's biggest arms manufacturers. But it has a reputation for engaging in illegal research programs. To clean up its reputation, it hires new CEO Hayden Kale. Kale's mission is to expose and shut down Chaank's worst projects. But when she fires weapons research director Jack Dante, he takes revenge by unleashing an unstoppable killing machine in corporate HQ. Now, Kale, her security chief, and three Human First terrorists who were trapped in the building with them must outwit Dante and escape the Death Machine. And, unlike with certain experimental weapons systems that might rampage through your corporate headquarters, it's going to take more than water to stop the Death Machine!

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

Hope OSHA Didn't See That
Guy turns around, hits his head on the overhang, and lands on grating on the floor, where the monster gets him. The monster had nothing to do with the initial injury, as I'm sure his lawyer would claim.

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Science

Technobabble off the Starboard Bow
A quad matrix of googleplectic memory co-processors and three hundred billion in software bonds. Arouha!

"Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"

"Anybody Got a Match?"
If they can set off the fire alarm, the building's security system will lock down automatically, preventing the Death Machine from moving around.
"Anybody got a match?"
"No, but I do have a thermic detonator."

Inane Dialogue

"The Area Is Secure!"
"The area is secure!" Yeah, right. Then why is the scene from the Death Machine's PoV?

Worst Special Effect

It Even Has Its Own Kill Theme
The Death Machine gets a new high score!

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Brad Dourif "Wormtongue" in The Lord of the Rings movies and "Suder" on Star Trek: Voyager, also appeared in Blue Velvet, Dune, Alien 4, and all of the Child's Play movies 
Ely Pouget Maggie Evans in the Dark Shadows remakes 
William Hootkins Red Six in Star Wars (the fat guy, Porkins, who blows up in the trench) 
Director Claim to Fame
Stephen Norrington Directed Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 

Greg Pearson

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.