Star Quest (1994)
Starquest
Terminal Voyage

Nomination Year: 2005
SYNOPSIS:  A starship identical to the one used by the genocidal aliens in Star Portal arrives in a distant star system. Aboard are nine astronauts (including Alan Rachins, playing an Arab, and Ming Na), who have been sent to set up a colony (they have frozen embryos and so forth). However, when they awake from cold sleep at their destination, they learn that Earth has been destroyed by a nuclear war in their absence and they are the last survivors of humanity. They don't take the news very well and pretty soon people are turning up dead.

Deus Ex Machina

Countdown to the Countdown of the End of Simulation as We Know It
The severed robot head can radio-control its limbs, and sets off the ship's self-destruct sequence. Two characters sacrifice themselves so that the other two can live even though everybody acknowledges that it would be trivially easy to save all four, the countdown turns out to be just the countdown to the real countdown, it was all just a simulation, and Nostradomus was wrong. Finally, we end with an SFX shot so bad that I literally had to rewind and watch it again just to figure out what it was supposed to be.

Smithee Award Winner! Crummiest Ending

Countdown to the Countdown of the End of Simulation as We Know It
The severed robot head can radio-control its limbs, and sets off the ship's self-destruct sequence. Two characters sacrifice themselves so that the other two can live even though everybody acknowledges that it would be trivially easy to save all four, the countdown turns out to be just the countdown to the real countdown, it was all just a simulation, and Nostradomus was wrong. Finally, we end with an SFX shot so bad that I literally had to rewind and watch it again just to figure out what it was supposed to be.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Steven Bauer Married to Melanie Griffith until 1987 
Brenda Bakke was also in L.A. Confidential as "Lana Turner" 
 Ming-Na sometimes credited as "Ming Na" or "Ming-Na Wen"; Ming-Na translates as "enlightenment"; "Dr. Deb Chen" on ER 
Alan Rachins "Douglas Brackman, Jr." from L.A. Law 
Marcus Aurelius This cannot be his real name, unless he's REALLY old. 
Director Claim to Fame
Rick Jacobson was the key grip on Time Burst: The Final Alliance, which is proof (of sorts) that there is a ladder in Bad Movies, and that it can be climbed 

Greg Pearson

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