Guess What Happened to Count Dracula? (1970)
Dracula: the Bitter Old Man
Nomination Year: 2006
SYNOPSIS: You might as well keep guessing, because this film isn't going to tell you.
This movie is the story of a girl named Angelica, who is wooed by the mysterious Count Adrian, owner of the local occult restaurant/club, "Dracula's Dungeon." Although Angelica discovers mysterious bites on her neck, has a general feeling of malaise during the day, becomes sun-averse, can't stand crosses, devours raw steak at one point, and even consults a book on vampires, she never becomes suspicious of Count Adrian (bad Bela accent, comes from Translvania, eh ... how bad could he be? He's a count, right?).
In the end, everybody gets probably what they deserve (especially Angelica's jerk of a boyfriend) -- including the audience.
Okay, to be fair, Count Dracula is, in fact, mentioned once -- as Count Adrian's father. What happened to him? Your guess is as good as mine.
- "Wanna Run That By Me Again?"
"I Have Eaten the Lizard!"
As part of the strange fertility ritual, one of the participants eats a lizard, then leaps up and shouts "I have eaten the lizard! I love the lizard!" and goes on to ramble a bit, including a gratuitous "Hail Adrian."
[Smithee Film Gallery] [Return to Lobby]
© 2011-2016 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.