Guess What Happened to Count Dracula? (1970)
Dracula: the Bitter Old Man

Nomination Year: 2006
SYNOPSIS:  You might as well keep guessing, because this film isn't going to tell you.

This movie is the story of a girl named Angelica, who is wooed by the mysterious Count Adrian, owner of the local occult restaurant/club, "Dracula's Dungeon." Although Angelica discovers mysterious bites on her neck, has a general feeling of malaise during the day, becomes sun-averse, can't stand crosses, devours raw steak at one point, and even consults a book on vampires, she never becomes suspicious of Count Adrian (bad Bela accent, comes from Translvania, eh ... how bad could he be? He's a count, right?).

In the end, everybody gets probably what they deserve (especially Angelica's jerk of a boyfriend) -- including the audience.

Okay, to be fair, Count Dracula is, in fact, mentioned once -- as Count Adrian's father. What happened to him? Your guess is as good as mine.

"Wanna Run That By Me Again?"

"I Have Eaten the Lizard!"
As part of the strange fertility ritual, one of the participants eats a lizard, then leaps up and shouts "I have eaten the lizard! I love the lizard!" and goes on to ramble a bit, including a gratuitous "Hail Adrian."

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Desmond Roberts  
Claudia Barron  
John Landon probably not the John Landon you were thinking of 
Robert Brance  
Frank Donato  
Director Claim to Fame
Laurence Merrick also directed a documentary on Charles Manson; was shot to death by one of his acting students 

Kevin Hogan

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