Ankle Biters (2002)

Nomination Year: 2011
SYNOPSIS:  There are these midget vampires. They're being hunted by a halfbreed vampire who is himself being hunted by ... um ... a group of vampire hunters. Got it?

There's a sword which contains a drop of blood of the last tall vampire (I guess the half-breed doesn't count). The midget vampires need this sword to make new regular-sized vampires. The half-breed hunter needs to kill the midgets while surviving to fight another day. It sounds more interesting/exciting/sensical than it really is.

At least the director was able to use a lot of nice props (Rolls Royce, classic bikes and trikes, compound bow, etc), which almost makes up for the title song consisting only of the words "Three feet tall! Two inch fangs!"

Best One-Liner

Blood is Thicker Than Water, but Cuervo is Thicker Than Both
The big guy's sister wants to know what those midgets want with her brother, so our hero lays out the facts.
"And I suppose you're a vampire?" she says doubtfully. "And that's blood you're drinking?"
"Well," he says, "I am a vampire, but this ... is Jose Cuervo!"

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Adam Minarovich talks in an annoying half-whisper the entire movie 
Jeremy Busbee friend of Adam Minarovich 
Michael Moore no, not that Michael Moore.... 
Catherine Minarovich related to Andy Minarovich 
Director Claim to Fame
Adam Minarovich Ankle Biters was his first feature 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.