SYNOPSIS: If the producers of Rana, Queen of the Amzon had had film, a few actual sets,
and lots and lots of steroids, they might have made a movie
like this. In "the days of swords and sorcery" barbarian king
Doran has a magic amulet given to him by The White Wizard that
protects his tribe from harm. He gives it to his queen to keep
her safe and, within hours, the evil Mandrak kills her and steals
the amulet, which he uses to travel to present-day Los Angeles
because -- er, never mind that. Doran follows him to take
revenge and recover the amulet, along the way teaming up with
a plucky TV reporter who looks just like the dead queen.
Greg Pearson
Smithee Award Nominations
Most Ludicrous Premise
Talk about Mood Swings--Must Be That Time of the Millenium
The Whiney White Wizard (Ingrid Vold) explains
the plot. She's no great acting talent, either.
Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!
Inane Dialogue
Cox Is Not Okay
"Cox, are you okay?"
Yeah, he gets shot in the head all the time. No biggie.
Worst Acting
Deron McBee, Doran of the Man-Breasts
I'd originally clipped this as a bad
acting clip for the queen (Joann Ayers), but Doran (Deron
McBee) is pretty bad, too. It's a real toss-up. Good news:
Lots of shots of nice, round, bare tits. Bad news: They're
his.
Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!
Worst Picture
Doran vs. the Cawing Barbarians
Given
that this is a swords & sorcery movie, you'd think there'd be
good swordfighting. You'd be wrong. Okay, maybe competent
swordfighting? Nope! Half-assed swordfighting? Sorry, not
that, either. Even though it's all being done at half-speed,
this fight is actually very hard to follow because you can't
tell when their obvious misses are supposed to be misses and
when they're supposed to be hits.
McBee was an "American Gladiator" under
the name
of "Malibu." He was the monster in
Monster Mash: The Movie
and played
henchmen in the Batman
movie
franchise of the '90s.