Rats (1984)
Blood Kill
Les Mutants de la 2ème Humanité
Les Rats de Manhattan
Rats - Notte di Terrore
Rats: Night of Terror

Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS:  World's Stupidest Post-Apocalyptic Bikers are picked off one-by-one by rats. Squeak.

Seriously.

The aforementioned biker gang breaks into a building (for shelter). They find crates of supplies (flour, sugar, etc), and dead scientists (on the floor, in chairs, etc). They spend the night in this building. During the night, rats chew through the tires on their motorcycles, thus trapping them (shades of Dead End Drive-In). As the movie progresses, the bikers exhibit the common sense and teamwork abilities of your average group of 12-year-old male D&D players. The rats pick them off one by one.

Smithee Award Winner! "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw"

"Rats! I Mean Darn! ARGH!"
They've discovered Lillith, dead. A rat comes out of her mouth, freaking everyone. Just then, Noah pops up in the doorway, covered in real rats and fake blood, screaming. Kurt, a bit quick on the hair trigger, sets Noah on fire with his flamethrower. Noah wanders off, flaming, screaming, and crashes through a window. The rest of the biker gang follows. "Finish him off!" says Kurt, so they shoot Noah. At point-blank range. With a shotgun. At which point he is really most sincerely dead.

"WHAT?!"

JiffyPop™ Rat Zombie
They've found Torres. He's dead. Mysteriously, his corpse starts to swell. It rips open, and ... there's a rat inside. Just one. Huh?

Worst Special Effect

Conveyer Belt of Rats
Back from the water run (but without water), the bikers are trying to break into the room they've been locked out of. But the rats are coming at them in waves! Or at least, somebody glued some furry lumps to a conveyer belt.

Worst Picture

"Thank Goodness Our Heads Are Screwed On!"
The bikers have barricaded themselves into one room in order to defend themselves from the rats. Diana walks past an open window.

Chocolate: "Oh my God, we forgot to barricade that window!"

As if on cue, rats pour through the window and onto Diana. The other bikers rescue her, and drag her over to one of the beds. "She's covered in bites," says Chocolate. "We need to wash her wounds with water."

Torres: "I forgot the water!"

Kurt : "That's okay. We'll break out of here and get some water."

And then they leave the mutinous second-in-command alone with all the women, and instructions to let them back in when they knock. It ends about as well as you'd expect.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Ottaviano Dell'Acqua co-starred in 9 movies with Massimo Vanni 
Geretta Geretta she was in Terminator II, but not that Terminator II 
Massimo Vanni co-starred in 9 movies with Ottaviano Dell'Acqua 
Director Claim to Fame
Bruno Mattei Has 20 directing pseudonyms, rivalling the great Godfrey Ho in that department 
Claudio Fragasso co-wrote screenplay for Rats with Bruno Mattei 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.