Metallica (1979)

[+]

(Foreign Titles)

Nomination Year: 2008

SYNOPSIS: An enterprising alien buys the earth at an intergalactic auction. But when he arrives at Sol Three to view the merchandise and start picking up humans for slaves, he discovers that they fight back. A disgraced scientist puts "the old team" back together in a race against time to create something that can penetrate the alien's impenetrable armor on their spaceships.

Kevin Hogan

Smithee Award Nominations

Worst Special Effect
He Pressed the Stock Footage Button A toy cannon jerks around and fires at the spaceship. The new putative ruler of earth is offended by this. "If they want violence, then I'll give it to them," he says. He presses, the big red button, and ... POW! BOOM! ZAP! A series of explosions erupts. A series of suspiciously stock-footage-appearing explosions. In black-and-white.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Inane Dialogue
"You're present." "Yeah." "Not absent." "Nope." So, the scummy guy survives the space battle which kills the professor's daughter's boyfriend. The two of them have the following dialogue exchange: "You're alive." "Yeah." "You survived." "Yeah."	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

"Whoops!"
A-B-V-D-E-X-G The film's opening credits (dig that synth music ... it's the only music they score the film with, so if you watch the whole movie, you'll hear plenty more of it) roll. And when it says "ALSO APPEARING (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER)" -- the names aren't. Not by last name. Maybe by first name? Nope. Middle name? Nickname? Secret Society name?	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Worst Picture
Marvin the Paranoid Android They Ain't They go to a junkyard, to recruit a couple of robots. Robots that need to be rescued from their (nauseatingly cutesy) suicide pact. Note how it's easy to tell Tilt from Tilly because she's got the huge eyelashes.	Sorry, this clip has not yet been made available!

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Alfonso Brescia	Directed Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Women and about 50 other flicks. Also wrote Choke Canyon.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
Yanti Sommer	<Not Yet in Database>
Gianni Garko	<Not Yet in Database>
Malisa Longo	<Not Yet in Database>	Venezian bombshell in many Italian B- flicks. You know, like Passion Plantation, The Erotic Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, and Star Odyssey.
Roberto Dell'Acqua	<Not Yet in Database>	brother of Alberto, Arnaldo, and Ottaviano
Chris Avram	<Not Yet in Database>


[Smithee Film Gallery]		[Return to Lobby]