Rock n' Roll Cops 2: The Adventure Begins (2003)

Nomination Year: 2007
SYNOPSIS:  Robert Z'Dar is the best part of this movie. Let me repeat that. Robert Z'Dar is the best part of this movie. He's only in about five minutes of it.

This movie was initially shot along with Rock N' Roll Cops as one big experiment. And then the footage was set aside for several years. Then it was edited into two different movies. The initial idea was to do the film as one long shot, and that sensibility seems to extend into many of the scenes of this movie, which start too early and last too long. The overall effect is to dilute all the good parts, and intensify all the bad ones. How does that work? An amusing exchange of conversation set in the middle of a rambling dialogue in a restaurant is less interesting than if the conversation were edited down to just the humorous bits. But on the other hand, if a sequence is off-putting (the casual misogyny and sexual harassment) in a more tightly-controlled movie, the viewer is usually pretty certain that it's in there for a reason. In this movie, I suspect that sort of thing was just tossed off without any real thought. That's the point where the geode cracks open and your soul flies away. Urgh. Also, autofocus hated this film. Autofocus hates everything, but really -- much of the movie was shot with what we called "the scumcam" on autofocus.

The plot is pretty straightforward. A couple of cops (Scott Shaw and David Heavener) are trying to discover who Mr Big is. They also enjoy the police brutality. It turns out that one of the cops is in tight with Mr Big. Eventually they end up discovering that Mr Big is a guy named Rinaldi (long-time Hollywood actor William Smith), who is a friend of the police Commissioner (Donald G. Jackson). Lots of people die (off-screen). The cops don't get a lot of time to play in their band (see? they're Rock n' Roll Cops because they play in a band together). The movie makes more sense if you go to the website afterward and look at some of the stills ... stills of scenes which didn't actually make the movie (sound of Kevin smacking his forehead in frustration).

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

I Like It, Too
A woman is sparring with a punching bag. It's hot out, so she pulls her top down, and continues to spar. The cops walk into the shot. One says, "I don't know if that's indecent exposure or not, but I like it," then they wander off.

"WHAT?!"

The Gospel According to Charlie Sheen
The cops are going to discuss the Bible, and all of a sudden (is it a metaphor or a loss of interest?) instead of the Bible there's a woman with a whip doing a dance.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Scott Shaw Not the comic book writer/artist, this one is the filmmaker/martial artist. 
David Heavener Not only an actor, writer, director, and a martial artist, he also composes and performs Christian music. 
Kevin Eastman Co-creator of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
William Smith NOT Will Smith. This guy is a big bruiser who played "Falconetti" in Rich Man, Poor Man and fought with Clint Eastwood in Any Which Way You Can 
Robert Z'Dar It'd be hard to find anyone whose face is puffier; huge ex-wrestler. 
Julie Strain married to Kevin Eastman; 6'1" tall 
Eric Brummer primarily a producer/editor/director of pornography 
Director Claim to Fame
Scott Shaw popularizer of the "Zen Film"; frequent collaborator with Donald G. Jackson 

Kevin Hogan

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