Robo Vampire (1988)
Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS: Robo Vampire is no Rats, but it does come close. The thing that stuck with me the most about this film?
The more you watch it, the less you know what's going on. Within the
first few minutes, it's pretty clear what the movie's about. Then, as
the film progresses, things get muddier and muddier, until by the time it
ended, no one has the foggiest idea what happened.
There's this group of drug smugglers lead by a Taoist (how do we know? because his name is apparently "the Taoist"). The Taoist can summon hopping vampires, as well as one particularly powerful gorilla-faced hopping vampire known as the Vampire Beast.
There's this other group of drug smugglers lead by a man who looks an awful lot like Gabe Kaplan. Or maybe they're the same group of drug smugglers, and they have some good reason for almost never interacting.
There's also a group of US anti-drug-agent commandoes, who put enough of a crimp in the drug smuggling racket that one of them gets killed and brought back to life as a Robo Warrior. Looking very much like a low-budget vinyl Robocop, Robo Warrior is singularly unsuccessful at accomplishing anything until the very end of the movie.
But that doesn't really matter. I guess. If only this movie had made more "sense," it might have been a Smithee classic.
There's this group of drug smugglers lead by a Taoist (how do we know? because his name is apparently "the Taoist"). The Taoist can summon hopping vampires, as well as one particularly powerful gorilla-faced hopping vampire known as the Vampire Beast.
There's this other group of drug smugglers lead by a man who looks an awful lot like Gabe Kaplan. Or maybe they're the same group of drug smugglers, and they have some good reason for almost never interacting.
There's also a group of US anti-drug-agent commandoes, who put enough of a crimp in the drug smuggling racket that one of them gets killed and brought back to life as a Robo Warrior. Looking very much like a low-budget vinyl Robocop, Robo Warrior is singularly unsuccessful at accomplishing anything until the very end of the movie.
But that doesn't really matter. I guess. If only this movie had made more "sense," it might have been a Smithee classic.
Kevin Hogan
Worst Cover Copy
Godfrey Ho
Robin Mackay
Tao Chiang
