The Brain Machine (1977)
Brain Machine
The E-Box
Gray Matter
Grey Matter
Mind Warp
Time Warp

Nomination Year: 2007
SYNOPSIS:  I never thought I'd see a film nearly as incomprehensible as Split. Here it is. Not quite that bad, perhaps, but close, at the end. A mysterious Government agency headed by a shadowy General is funding two projects dealing with the human brain. As near as I can figure, it is their intention to use "computers" to take control of the projects and develop a way to read people's minds. When the head of one project finds out and tries to bolt and blab, he's killed. This is the story of the other project, and the disaster that happens when the switch is eventually flipped. Has James "Roscoe P. Coltrane" Best in it. The acting throughout this turkey is astoundingly Bad.

Acting Appropriately Stupid

The Cable Guy
This trained engineer has found a mysterious cable plugged into his power box. What's the first step of the remediation procedure? Grab it! ZZZZZAAARCH!

Crummiest Ending

Oh My God
The walls are closing in. The valiant survivors have just made it into the "Service Module" and although the situation is dire, it looks like they're going to make it with the help of the scientists above. But then the escape hatch closes and the place blows up. All the heroes die. I love Saxon's disgusted "Oh my God" while watching the monitor (even HE doesn't buy it).

Worst Acting

Your Acting Is Deadlier Than Either
Here, the General (Thomas Hal Phillips) really shines. Stumbling over his lines, trouble with props, and a weird scene. "If you ... want to protect ... yourself, which ... weapon would you choose?" It's sad that the bodyguard isn't half bad. At least by comparison.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
James Best "Roscoe P. Coltrane" on The Dukes of Hazzard (kyeuh-kyeuh-kyeuh!) 
Doug Collins  
Barbara Burgess  
Gil Peterson  
Stuart Lancaster Grandson of one of the Ringling Brothers, played bit parts in a lot of B-films 
Thomas Hal Phillips  
Gerald McRaney "Rick Simon" from Simon & Simon, "Major McGillis" from Major Dad 
Director Claim to Fame
Joy N. Houck, Jr. Produced Boggy Creek II, as if the original needed a II 

Bryan Cassidy

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