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The Brain Machine  (1977)
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Brain Machine
The E-Box
Gray Matter
Grey Matter
The Mind Machine
Mind Warp
Time Warp
Tagline(s):A Frightening Invention
 Humans Used by the Government for a TOP SECRET EXPERIMENT...
 It Has No Conscience, It Shows No Mercy.
 Industrial Strength Insanity
 You Can't See It, Hear It, or Touch It... So How Do You Fight It?
Nomination Year: 2007
SYNOPSIS: I never thought I'd see a film nearly as incomprehensible as Split (1989). Here it is. Not quite that bad, perhaps, but close, at the end. A mysterious Government agency headed by a shadowy General is funding two projects dealing with the human brain. As near as I can figure, it is their intention to use "computers" to take control of the projects and develop a way to read people's minds. When the head of one project finds out and tries to bolt and blab, he's killed. This is the story of the other project, and the disaster that happens when the switch is eventually flipped. Has James "Roscoe P. Coltrane" Best in it. The acting throughout this turkey is astoundingly Bad.
Bryan Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Acting Appropriately Stupid
The Cable Guy
This trained engineer has found a mysterious cable plugged into his power box. What's the first step of the remediation procedure? Grab it! ZZZZZAAARCH!
Crummiest Ending
"Oh My God"
The walls are closing in. The valiant survivors have just made it into the "Service Module" and although the situation is dire, it looks like they're going to make it with the help of the scientists above. But then the escape hatch closes and the place blows up. All the heroes die. I love Saxon's disgusted "Oh my God" while watching the monitor (even HE doesn't buy it).
Worst Acting
Your Acting Is Deadlier Than Either

Here, the General (Thomas Hal Phillips) really shines. Stumbling over his lines, trouble with props, and a weird scene. "If you ... want to protect ... yourself, which ... weapon would you choose?" It's sad that the bodyguard isn't half bad. At least by comparison.

And of course, the OBVIOUS boom mic in all his shots is just icing on the cake!

Directors
Director Claim to Fame
Joy N. Houck, Jr. Produced Boggy Creek II, as if the original needed a "II." Also helmed Night of Bloody Horror, Woman and Bloody Terror, and The Night of the Strangler. Hm... 
Cast
Actor Character Claim to Fame
James Best Rev. Emory Neill Started off in TV Westerns and adventures to eventually become Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on "The Dukes of Hazzard" (kyeuh-kyeuh-kyeuh!). Also starred in many Bad movies. 
Barbara Burgess Dr. Carol Portland Mainly uncredited eye candy until The Brain Machine, then...more or less retired. 
Gil Peterson Dr. Elton Morris Cliff Donner in The Cool Ones and an uncredited part as Neely's Leading Man in The Valley of the Dolls
Doug Collins Dr. Roland Roth His only credit. 
Gerald McRaney Willie West Many major parts on TV (pun), including TV's "Major Dad" John D. McGillis; Rick Simon on "Simon & Simon"; Retired Admiral Kilbride on "NCIS: Los Angeles"; and Russell Greene on "Promised Land." Played General Morrison in the The A-Team movie. 
Marcus J. Grapes Judd Reeves Jerry in Women and Bloody Terror
Thomas Hal Phillips The General AKA "Thomas Phillips" or "Hal Phillips" or "Hal Thomas Phillips." Didn't do too much. 
Stuart Lancaster Senator Grandson of one of the Ringling Brothers, played bit parts in a lot of B-films. Shows up in the weirdest places: a retiree in Edward Scissorhands; the Penguin's doctor in Batman Returns; The Old Man in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!; did the press- conference toilet voiceover in The Naked Gun... 
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