The Wild Women of Wongo (1958)
Nomination Year: 2007
SYNOPSIS: Ten thousand years ago, the village of Wongo was populated by gorgeous females, but their males were all unattractive. Down the coast a bit was Goona, a land where the guys were hot, but the women were butt-ugly. However, one day a man of Goona (the prince, no less) comes to warn the Wongoites (Wongonians?) of a clan of rampaging Ape Men in the vicinity. Never before had Wongo had any contact with Goona, and when the women see the handsome stranger, feelings begin to develop. Likewise, the Goona Guy never saw beautiful women before. So of course, the Wongo Guys try to kill him out of jealousy. He escapes and heads back to Goona. After their sacrifice-time, the women of Wongo return to find their village deserted. Assuming the Ape Men destroyed it, they head for Goona, whose men are on a rite of passage that precludes their carrying weapons. The Wild Women of Wongo easily capture the hot Goona guys and take them to the temple to marry. When the real Wongo men return, there are some tense moments ... until they see the "ugly" women of Goona and decide they're just right. Everyone ends up content. There's a TON of Bad Acting in this movie, but I didn't nominate them for fear that their stilted, wooden delivery was more a lame attempt to be prehistoric rather than "pure" Bad Acting. A sort of "maybe they really talked that way back then" effect.
- Most Ludicrous Premise
The Great Experiment
Mother Nature and Father Time did an experiment 10,000 years ago by placing hot chicks with ugly guys and vice-versa. Brilliant! That oughta teach 'em. Probably what drove Father Time into the arms of Mother Earth by the time Charlotte's Web rolled around.
Waiting for God-ot
Each night, one of the girls has to sit out and wait to see if the alligator's going to eat her. Er, I mean, see if the Dragon God will find her worthy of sacrifice. So here she is, every sense alert, every nerve straining to detect that bit of movement that might mean her last moments.... And then there are these two Ape Men "sneaking" up on her from the cover of ... uh ... well, they crouch down slightly whenever she seems to look their way.
The Dragon God Commands You To Boogie Down!
"The Dragon God is angry!" Let's dance! The high priestess (or whoever) transforms (or whatever) and they all start dancing. Strangely. For a long time. For no good reason. Well, no good PLOT-based reason.
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