Catman in Boxer's Blow (1993)
U.S. Catman 2: Boxer Blow

Nomination Year: 2010
SYNOPSIS:  The Catman series is one of those "find an Asian martial arts flick and splice in your own Caucasian over-plot and package it as a whole new movie" deals. The original Asian flick had something to do with...ummm...still thinking.... Nothing to do with boxing, though. There was a sort of mafia thing in the Caucasian half in which the leadership of the new Cheever Church was determined by the winner of a boxing match. And there may have been nuclear stuff and a train but the one thing that there was plenty of, was kung fu fightin' action. Good golly these peeps were a touchy lot.

"Is John In?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Me!"
*pow* *smack* *karate-chop*
... ... ...
"Pass the ketchup."
"There ya go."
*pow* *smack* *karate-chop*
... ... ...
"Do you know the way to San Jose?"
*pow* *smack* *karate-chop*

I lost track of who was fighting whom and for what reason. Did they even need a reason? There must have been 20 some of these random skirmishes peppered throughout the Asian plot. Oddly, you would think that so much fighting would lend itself to an Overkill extravaganza but not so much. Huh.

Spliced into this rolling free-for-all one-fight-every-five-minutes Asian martial arts flick is the overarching Catman plot. Catman and his buddy Gus (yay Gus! Who I guess didn't die in Catman one) are assigned to keep an eye on this chick who has a nuclear weapon activation whatsit. She has a buyer who is the new bigwig of the Holy Cheever Church (yup, under new management!) and both Catman and Gus want to take down said church. Or maybe they want her to lead them to Hot Clam Chowder. Either or. And this is the saddest part of the Catman movie -- the whole Caucasian over-plot is only about 15 to 20 minutes, tops. It definitely suffers greatly from a profound lack of Catman, as hard as that might be to wrap your mind around. How can you not want more of a superhero with the quick costume change ability (just like a cat!)?

Smithee Award Winner! Oblivious

They were watching her back -- she got stabbed in the front.
Sam & Gus (aka Catman & his buddy) are supposed to be keeping an eye on their contact while she is trying to entrap a bad guy with a "nuclear trigger." The bad guy and contact are talking out in the open while he's fishing off the pier. The bad guy manages to stab the contact and get away scot free ... without Gus or Sam realizing anything is wrong.

Worst Cover Copy

Probably into eternal nigth as well.
It's another cheesy drawing on the front cover of another cheesy Catman movie. Fewer speeling erars [sic], but it does threaten to "plung" the world into nuclear darkness.

"WHAT?!"

I bet they clean this guy's clock ... with a dust rag.
A couple of bad guys capture a guy who I think is supposed to be a good guy (some parts of this movie are, shall we say, moderately confusing). They torture him by eating worms in front of him. Huh? It works! Double Huh?

Smithee Award Winner! Worst Picture

Catman wins ... just like a cat!
Gus and Sam are tied to trees facing a firing squad of bad guys, and discussing last meals.

Sam taunts them into shooting him first, though ... and disappears in a pull of colored smoke.

The bad guys are in an uproar. They somehow fail to notice Catman "sneaking" in and untying Gus (even though Catman is hardly what you'd call Mr Subtle).

Gus and Catman run off, bad guys chasing them, and firing grenades.

Catman is running between explosive blasts of colored smoke. Or at least someone wearing Catman's suit is. Catman is blonde, and this person ... isn't. It wouldn't be so obvious, maybe, if they didn't cut directly between the two of them....

Gus is shot and killed ... just like at the end of last movie. Catman is furious. But the bad guys have the drop on him. Suddenly the bad guys are all shot from behind! Gus isn't dead after all! "I was wearing a bullet-proof vest," he says. "Good call, little buddy," says Catman. Ha ha ha--BLACK. No credits, no "THE END" -- just a sudden cut to black.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Jonathan Isgar "Catman" in the Catman movies 
Director Claim to Fame
Godfrey Ho possibly directed more Smithee films than anyone else - also known as: Alton Cheung, Tommy Cheung, Ho Chi-Keung, Elton Chong, Daniel Clough, Leong Fui Fong, Antonin Gasner, Martin Greenfield, Godfrey Hall, Zhi Jiang He, Benny Ho, Chi-Mou Ho, Chun-Sing Ho, Fong Ho, York Lam, Bruce Lambert, Charles Lee, Frank Lewis, Joe Livingstone, Jerry Sawyer, Victor Sears, Robert Young, Albert Yu 

Jeannette Quirk

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.