Jive Turkey (1974)
Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes

Nomination Year: 2008
SYNOPSIS:  Blaxploitation at its finest. It's (allegedly) 1956, even though they drive modern (well, '70's) cars and speak contemporary slang. The black organized crime syndicate, run by the "nice" Pasha is being threatened by the Italian organized crime syndicate, run by the nasty Frank DeKova, of "Chief Wild Eagle" from F-Troop "fame." It's a lot of slices of street life, punctuated by appearances by a sadistic black transvestite assassin. You don't see many of those around these days.

Smithee Award Winner! Oblivious

Hatchet Job
The cops raid Pasha's office and look for a secret back room. They find a wall that has to be it. Out comes the little hatchet. After a while, the cop leaning against another part of the wall goes, "Hey, here's a door!" Nice searching. They found the secret back room, but couldn't find the door right there. But it was all for nothing anyway. What dumbasses.

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

You're No Good I Hate You Let's Fuck
She's furious at him for leaving her alone for days. She shows it by saying "You must think I'm crazy" and taking her clothes off so they can screw. The music for this sequence is hardly Barry White, either.

"Alas, Poor Yorick"

Death by High-Heeled Shoe
First she poisons them. Then she vomits. Then she beats them to death with her high-heeled shoe.

Crummiest Ending

Bittersweet (Dead) Ending
At the party, Pasha tells Mama (who looked out of it just a second before, puffing on her opium pipe) that he knows who the mole in his organization is and he's made arrangements to take care of him. Oh, yeah. I remember that subplot from a long time ago. Pasha just suddenly ups and says he knows who it was. Then, when the guy dies, three bloody words rush at the camera: THE DEAD END.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Frank DeKova  
Director Claim to Fame
Bill Brame  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.