Raw Force (1982)
Kung Fu Zombies
Shogun Island

Nomination Year: 2012
SYNOPSIS:  It's a tale as old as time. The tale of the legendary Potters Field of Kung Fu -- Warrior's Island -- the island where disgraced martial artists take themselves to die. This island is shepherded by a cabal of monks. Necromantic monks who eat human flesh in order to perform the rituals to resurrect the dead martial artists.

The monks have a deal with some particularly unsavory businessmen. The men supply the monks with nubile females. In return, the monks provide jade from their jade mine -- which is conveniently right next to the beach. These businessmen are never stated to be Nazis, but their leader has a pronounced German accent and an itty-bitty Hitler moustache.

But enough with the backstory. The Burbank Karate Club is going on a cruise. A cruise through the Southern Pacific. A cruise which takes them dangerously near to Warrior's Island. And through a series of unlikely coincidences involving naked women, rum, and Cameron Mitchell (as The Cap'n), the ship is attacked by pirates, and sinks. The Cap'n is the last one off.

By raft, the survivors find themselves drifting to the Island, and have to make their way across it, fighting undead martial artists in order to survive. Survive until they can find their way to the seaplane (which they don't realize is full of jade).

Hope Holiday also features in a prominent (i.e. topless) role. Although you could argue that the whole film is a Hope Holiday from the moment the Burbank Karate Club sets foot on the dilapidated cruise ship until their desperate stand against the undead martial artists on the floating dock that leads to the seaplane, where falling into the water means instant death by piranha. Yes, I suppose they would have to be Southern Pacific Ocean Saltwater Piranha, but what of it?

Most Ludicrous Premise

Plot ripped off from everyone ... at once!
In a cab, we are told the story of Warriors Island. It's the lost burial ground of disgraced martial artists, inhabited by cannibalistic necromantic monks. We're told the story by members of the Burbank Karate Club, who (enticed by a mysterious brochure) are taking a cruise there!

"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"

Chocolate or vanilla? Let me check!
During the shipboard party, a couple of people accidentally get hit by a cake. So, of course, post-cake, there is a "showering-cake-off-naked-body" scene. Which, when you get down it, was really the point of the getting-hit-by-cake scene.

Worst Acting

Garry McClintic as Steve.
Steve, the third-grade teacher, is on his bed, having a conversation with a woman who's undressing. She was a mafia-style moll, but is currently on the run. Her acting is bad, but he. Is. Wood. En. And stil. Ted. They make stilts out of wood, and he exemplifies why.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Cameron Mitchell a preacher's son, he chose a darker path for his life 
Hope Holiday watching this movie is like taking my own miniature hope holiday 
Jillian Kesner  
Jennifer Holmes "Jane Miller" from Misfits of Science and "Leslie Vanderkellen" from Newhart, among many other television roles 
John Locke not the philosopher 
Chanda Romero not related to zombie-master George Romero 
Garry McClintic this is his only imdb credit; no surprise 
Vic Diaz  
Michael Cohen aka "Mike" 
Director Claim to Fame
Edward D. Murphy directed and wrote this 

Kevin Hogan

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.