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Atomic Rulers of the World (1964)
Atomic Rulers
Attack of the Flying Saucers
O Aoratos Diastimanthropos
Starman

Nomination Year: 2009
SYNOPSIS:  Can anyone remember why there isn't a Stupidest-Looking Hero category? This guy would win this year. Basically, the other sentient races of the galaxy (*cough*) send their champion "Starman" to help the pesky humans of Earth, since the radiation from all Earth's nuclear testing is making other planets uninhabitable. The evil country of Magolia (or is it Merapolia?) seeks to start a nuclear war, and Starman must stop them.

Most Ludicrous Premise

Let's Hope They Never Learn about the Sun
The radiation from Earth's unchecked nuclear testing is slowly rendering other planets across the galaxy uninhabitable! And the Stupid-Looking Galactic Council sends Starman!

Smithee Award Winner! Oblivious

"Where's My Hostage? There's Nothing Here But This Barrel!"
Kid runs from train platform up to bare hilltop, hides in lidless barrel. Kidnapper doesn't see.

"WHAT?!"

World's Stupidest Execution Device and Nuclear Deathtrap
"Carry out the execution! Well? Go ahead!" If he were in such a hurry, why did they make the blades soooo slooooooow? Then come the dropping walls. Walls? And the taunts? And the Bomb? Oh, right, the "nuclear" bomb that just goes "bang." Who built this place?? I get this image of an outlandishly-dressed Supervillain Base Designer (maybe from HGTV's Pimp My Lair): "Oh, you've just *got* to get the neckblades, the blast-wall cage with gloat-window option, and retractable ladders! It's so IN this season!" And on the ride away from the hideout, Goon #3 might say: "Gee, boss, I gotta tell you I never thought we'd use that wall thing. Good call. But that neck-blade machine, I dunno..."

Worst Special Effect

Flights of Not-So-Fancy
Starman flying! Chasing after a Toy Helicopter ...that "seems to be headed for the secret base." How the hell would he know? Oh, THAT secret base!

Worst Picture

The Rain on the Plane Stays--OH MY GOD LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY!
On his way down to earth, Starman saves a plane which is having trouble in the rain. Unfortunately, his costume is ... let's just say there's an excellent wet buffalo shot of Starman.
From the "Dialogue Not in Film But Should Have Been" Dept.: "Mommy! I just saw a man on the wing!" "Are you sure it was a man?" "Oh yes. Very sure."
Then, just in case we missed the ludicrousness of the moment, Starman does a mid-air flip, and is dressed in businesswear. Standing on the wing of the plane, which soon lands through a hole in the clouds. We see a banner on the ground welcoming the Merapolians as the narrator tells us that it welcomes the Magolians. They never do make up their mind on that note.

Actors/Directors of Note
Actor Claim to Fame
Ken Utsui  
Junko Ikeuchi  
ShĂ´ji Nakayama  
Director Claim to Fame
Koreyoshi Akasaka  
Teruo Ishii  
Akira Mitsuwa  

Bryan Cassidy

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© 2011-2014 Bryan D. Cassidy, Greg Pearson, Matthew Quirk, and Kevin Hogan. All Rights Reserved.