Fateful Findings (2013)
Tagline(s): | A Paranormal Thriller Where a Computer Hacker Exposes Worldwide Secrets |
Nomination Year: 2024
SYNOPSIS:
A computer scientist-cum-novelist rediscovers a lost childhood love. And there's this weird cube he found as a kid that...does stuff...I guess. And...uh...I have no idea. Clearly the worst kind of vanity project, the plotline and acting are all so horrible that this film makes The Room look Oscar-worthy.
Curse you, Neil Breen!
Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy
Smithee Award Nominations
Inane Dialogue |
It Was the Rolls Royce Good demonstration of how nearly every character in this shit-fest repeats lines. Finally the Aussie (?) states: "I sawr it! It was the Rolls Royce!" What tipped you off, mate? Was it the fact the car is stopped directly in front of the body, with the front grille literally dripping with his blood??
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"Whoops!" |
The Mysterious Dr. Lee Dr. Lee can warp time and space, apparently. Here's *another* clip of him not only making his laptop appear and disappear, but he *changes clothes* several times during the shot. Not to mention he's the neediest (and most woodenly-acted) therapist ever.
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Worst Acting |
Psycho Therapist Gloria Hoffman gives a cryptic and stilted performace as Dr. Andra, spouting things that even the main character doesn't understand, so we don't have a prayer.
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I Can't Believe It's Not Suicide Quite possibly the WORST acting I have ever witnessed, even in the Smithees. I...just can't even. After all you've been through, I can't help you out of this one, folks. So, so sorry.
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Worst Picture |
The Couch Talk It's so hard to choose an illustrative Worst Acting or Worst Picture clip. Here, Dylan and Emily are having trouble with their marriage, between her addiction to prescription meds and his being a random slap-typing workaholic.
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WtF, He Can TELEPORT?? Leah's been kidnapped by...THEM. (It's not clear who THEY are.) Dylan tracks her down. Then, with absolutely NO prior indication of his possessing any supernatural abilities, Dylan can suddenly *teleport through solid objects*! GAH!
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The Companies Are Fake! At the end of the credits, it's revealed that all of the companies that have N and/or B in their names (i.e., all of them) are made-up, just to provide legitimacy and are in fact just him, Neil Breen.
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Directors
Director |
Claim to Fame |
Neil Breen |
Though with fewer than 10 director credits as of
this writing, Breen--and I say this without
hyperbole--could easily take his place among the
Smithee greats like Ed Wood, Roger Corman, Cirio
Santiago, and Fred Olen Ray. Just (try to) watch
his offerings like Double Down,
I Am Here...Now, and Twisted
Pair. Yikes. |
© 1992-2024 Bryan D. Cassidy and Greg Pearson. All Rights Reserved.