Snakes on a Train (2006)

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From Train to Dust
Snake Hell

Tagline(s):

100 Trapped Passengers... 3,000 Venomous Vipers!

Nomination Year: 2025

SYNOPSIS:

Alma and Brujo are a refugee couple from Mexico trying to get to Los Angeles. Alma is under a curse, you see: She's turning into snakes. Not *a* snake -- Snakes. They come out of her, and they're venomous. Despite Brujo's best efforts, though, the snakes get everywhere on the train and cause chaos. In the end, Alma's curse gets the better of her and she does turn into a giant snake, which eats the train. Yikes!

This horrendous stinker of a film was released THREE DAYS BEFORE Snakes on a Plane in August, 2006, in an attempt to piggyback on its popularity.

Bryan Cassidy

Smithee Award Nominations

Best One-Liner
Your Mother's C*** Smells Like Carpet Cleaner Our Mexican baddies didn't like being locked up by Brujo; Julio comes up with one of the most unique insults to throw at him: "Your mother's cunt smells like carpet cleaner." Ooookay.

Crummiest Ending

Deus Ex SNAKENADO and an Ending That Bites

Alma has turned into a giant snake and is eating the train in a huge crap-pile of rotten SPFX! Luckily, Brujo has one final trick up his sleeve: He casts a spell which causes a tornado that takes the snake away. Neat!

However...one of the passengers has gotten bitten somewhere along the way... Is the nightmare REALLY over?

Directors

Director	Claim to Fame
Peter Mervis	Helmed Dead Men Walking, When a Killer Calls, and the Homeland Nation series.

Cast

Actor	Character	Claim to Fame
A.J. Castro	Brujo	AKA "Alby Castro," Costa-Rican-born ruggedly handsome actor who was on a bunch of TV episodes (like Alberto on "Every Minute Counts"), and also did the voice of John Cena in the WWE Smackdown vs. RAW videogame series.
Julia Ruiz	Alma	Played Beatriz Rosario de Alvarado on "Graffiti" and Mrs. Nunez in Magic City Memoirs.
Giovanni Bejarano	Miguel	A lot of one-episode TV. Was Nasty (that's the character's name) in Dead Men Walking. Played Adrien in Marigold the Matador.
Al Galvez	Julio	Juan Cordero on "South Beach" (the 2016 one); El Chulo on "RPM Miami"; Fariq in The Bait.
Amelia Jackson-Gray	Crystal	Becky in The Campaign; Audrey in Silent Thunder; Alicia Burroughs in Journey to the Center of the Earth (the stupid 2008 one).
Shannon Gayle Hurd	Summer	AKA "Shannon Gayle," "Shakti Shannon," and "Shannon 'Shakti' Freimann," she was Lucinda in The Number 23; Ginger in A Numbers Game; and was on an episode of "Aftermath." I'll tell you the numbers/math right now: She's a perfect 10.


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